Sunday, March 06, 2005

Tinge of sadness.Spirit of Joy

Cell group was real good. We have combine cell with w###. Their cell group is really youthful. All the members in there are all age 17 and below. W### is sister Elaine or Xiu Wen's sister cell group. So the sisters occasionally joke around about their relationship between cell. We finally finish the 12-"let us" module to start our year right. I am pretty blessed by the message.

On that day, i also found out that w### is going to merge with our cell. For the first time, instead of multiplying in to 2 cells, we are combining to become 1 big big cell. Well more people, would mean more fun. Secondly, i also discovered that they love to tell lame jokes. I can share alot here.

What is happy's surname?
Happy Lee [Happily]

What's happy's occupation?
Happy nurse [Happiness]

Is happy a male or female?
Male. [Happy meal]

Does happy like males or females?
Males. [ Happy is gay]

Why did happy won lottery?
Happy-go-lucky.

A hunter is walking down the forest. He hates Green birds and kills them on sight. One day he saw a Green bird and Red bird on the tree. He has a rifle with 2 bullets. The red bird takes 2 bullets to be killed. In the end both bird died. Why?
The green bird got shot to death. When the red bird saw it, it turned green with fright. So there goes the 2 birds.

*Chinese Joke*
What does a new book lack?
Television. [Xin1 Chuan2 mei2 tian4 shi4]

*Racism alert*
Why do Indians talk non-stop?
Because they have full-stop on their head.

There was a waging world war 3. The Koreans are winning because they have a great speciality. That is they can headshot everyone they see. However, they lost to the Indians in India. Why?
The Indians were doing their Indian [head-shaking] dance. So the Koreans can't headshot any Indians.

-no offence.. just a joke-

Well these are the people that are going to join our cell. Pretty interesting. We haven shared with them the lame jokes we have collected from Doraemon. They better be prepared

We had lunch together, before we headed down for movie at Jurong point.

That is the spirit of Joy. Having new members, nice chats, and enjoying the presence of God.






The tinge of sadness ...

Seeing everyone so happy is good. However, I still cant break free from this vacant space of mine. I need real good directions. I need to explore options. That is nothing sad in this. I feel sad when i got an sms from my uncle

Jason, its not the end of the world. Call me .. lets discuss what to do next.

That's my uncle. I feel very bad when i got his sms. I know he must be real sad. He has told me before to change my lifestyle. To have better plans. And he did say before it pains him when he sees me drowning in my sorrows when i fail. He does not want me to feel this way. Somehow i got problems relating to him my feelings and thoughts. I don't feel that way. I feel much more different. What i need most from him is that he should not worry about me too much. I am not saying that he should not bother me or something. I am saying that it also pains me to see him worrying about me. I make mistakes. But i am not going to let the mistakes get a better hold on me.

He speaks great wisdom and he has always advice me on certain things in life. We had alot alot of conversations, face-to-face and over the phone. He is not a Christian. He told me he experienced things in the hard way and that's why he always tell me to stay on the right track. He is very strict on me in the past, and i know its all for my own good. This is what i feel about him. A chat with him can help me alot. But sometimes it can discourage me alittle. Because he is intellectual in a way. But most intellectual people in my point of view make a bad mistake. Assumptions about people. Sometimes he assumes that i feel this way, he assumes that i think this way or he assumes that i live that way. Sometimes he is correct. But not all the time. I got discouraged very often when talking to him because most of the time, he do the talking and i cant find a way to open myself up to him about certain issues. Maybe sometimes i am afraid of him. He can be called the one that bless me most on this Earth. That is why sometimes i feel indebted to him. He has done so much for me even though he i am not his closest kin. It just makes me feel sad that i am kinda helpless in this relationship. I just don't know how to relate to him i guess.

It pains me to let people. Especially those who have done so much for me down. The truth is i can handle the temporal fall. The sad thing is i am really struggling to get up, dealing especially with the troubles that i have brought done with me. I am not really discomforted by the fall itself. But the path to get up is hard. Just as what my uncle has said.

Jeez if i only had a good listening heart. I hope i learn to handle mistakes wisely. I am really going all out to change. Right now i don't really need advice .. and if i need i will automatically phone my uncle. All i need is people to build me up. I know mom and the rest of the cg are very encouraging and supportive and that's very pleasant of them to do that. I just hope everything will go on well the next few days.

No comments: