World through Your eyes

9-10 Jabez was a better man than his brothers, a man of honor. His mother had named him Jabez (Oh, the pain!), saying, "A painful birth! I bore him in great pain!" Jabez prayed to the God of Israel: "Bless me, O bless me! Give me land, large tracts of land. And provide your personal protection—don't let evil hurt me." God gave him what he asked. Dear God... i have forgotten this pain. this pain caused by rheumatamoid arthritis. the pain that stills away your locomotions. everything i do just takes double or triple the time. and the pain falls on my right wrist... means everything i do has to be done on my left hand. brushing of teeth, cooking my noodles, bsthing .. even typing. i used to feel alot of self pity.. now i just am so irritated by this. cooking a bowl of noodles takes so much more time now... and guess what.. my left hand slip and everything fell over. God i cant help but think is there a future for me... how can i take care of people whe...

God... i am going to do abit of homework today. to create a list of the unhealthy habits and thought life. i notice a certain pattern of childish intepretations of what others are doing that makes me feel lousy.. or possibly angry with myself. 1) When talking to a person - if she looks around halfway and look at something more interesting that what i am talking.... i will feel that my words are boring. my conversation is not engaging. result: i will feel frustrated w myself. and angry at the other party not paying attention. verdict: i think its silly. i am used to being the centre of attention when i am young in primary school. when i mature... suddenly all that attention is lost... as my uncles and auntie move house. i began to feel insecure cos i am not making connections with people the way i used to do. now how do i go about solving this? rewiring my mind helps? i need a word from the bible. 2) when i speak to someone... and the person doesnt reply. it...

Dear God.. my heart is exeedingly sorrowful. i just feel i really need a breakthrough in my life. I really love this person alot. can you imagine that time and time again you keep hurting the same person u love .. the person that love you. i just really feel like a jerk i just read through an email she wrote when we were first really getting to know each other. on 3 August.. she wrote this statement "yea, so like what i was sharing, i really hope to have a man in my life, who can really take care of me. who loves me and supports me, and understanding towards how i feel and make me feel fulfilled as a woman. where my life is really maximised. where being in a relationship is really a blessing to each other and not a pain or agony. i know there are no perfect relationships, but, it's like, on a whole, the relationship will feel more blissful than painful... you know what i mean? really hope to have a guy who really has a heart for God. who loves God, who serves...

Dear God, Sometimes I feel like a mouse in this big big world. Im not sure if I am schizophrenic. Or I have another spirit that lives in me. I constantly feel I am useless.. And people don't deserve my time. When an attempt to strike conversation w someone failed.. And my colleagues can enjoy heart to conversation.. I will think there must be something wrong w me When my frens graduate from their studies.. And I'm still studying,. I Will think there is something wrong with me. With the recent episode w vic. And sometimes when members tell me me can't serve. They can't come Cg or service.. Cos they are doing assignment... I will think is it because there is something wrong w cell group or service? Or am I thinking too much. I fell sick twice in these 2 weeks. Body is weak. I feel so weak. God look at me. I have nothing to lead the people. No credentials. I am not a role model. Whats good in me? What's my strength? I feel so helpless now. Hopeless. And I don't kow...