Wednesday, May 09, 2012
Friday, February 03, 2012
Thursday, February 02, 2012
continually be in my mouth. My life makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble and afflicted hear and be glad. O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name
together. I sought (inquired of) the Lord and
required Him [of necessity and on the authority of His Word], and He heard me, and
delivered me from all my fears. They looked to Him and were radiant; their faces shall never
blush for shame or be confused. This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out
of all his troubles. (Psalm 34:1-6 AMP)
These verses have Been my verse of meditation these few weeks.
I realize how sometimes when we are so caught up with ourself.... Over our struggles and our life., we tend to look at our life w a magnifying glass and feel overwhelmed.
I think the start of this year has been a big struggle for me. Balancing time and commitment.. The stress built up and eventually I crack.
I understand how frail I am and I turn back to you.
I seek affirmation and understanding...
God you became my affirmation through all this. I feel so tired but you have lifted me up.
I talk to rio and understood how he copes during his 2 years of studies. It wasn't easy but he balance his time alot by seeking understanding and help from people around him... And try to focus his priorities on what's at hand.
I think studies is one of my most important priority right now. And I will give it my attention.
The rest of the things.. God please help me to balance it out. I don't want to neglect my family.. Or rlns in the expense of my studies. I don't want my health to deteriorate too. I want to live a long life to serve you.
So give me your grace to complete my planning for visions this year.
I want to be focus in sound what I should do. No more wasting time
Vision for my life!
First half of year
-Bible study every morning
-meditating on new verses like ps 34 and ps 1
- 30mina a day of revision
- sat 2 hours
- sun 2hrs am, 6hrs pm
- one weekend every month w ah ma
- clear bf
- save 300 p month for wedding
- sleep by 12 latest 1230
- daily 1hr worship
Later part of the year
- improvement in photography by joining a club or expedition
- guitar class: compose a melody and song
- iPhone 5 :)
- work out to keep fit. 3 times a week.
Vision for work
Not to ot at expense of meeting unless absolutely necessary
Vision for Cg
Disciple members to maximize their gifts
Bible study for men and Cgc
Xuelin will handle the woman
Prayer meeting w every single one maybe once a month
Vision for spiritual life
To be accountable to my mentors.
To have a breakthrough in my thought life
To be able to have revelations of Gods love and goodness once again.
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
-Theodore Roosevelt 26th President of USA.
Man who make a decision to step up make a difference.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
9-10 Jabez was a better man than his brothers, a man of honor. His mother had named him Jabez (Oh, the pain!), saying, "A painful birth! I bore him in great pain!" Jabez prayed to the God of Israel: "Bless me, O bless me! Give me land, large tracts of land. And provide your personal protection—don't let evil hurt me." God gave him what he asked.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Sometimes I feel like a mouse in this big big world. Im not sure if I am schizophrenic. Or I have another spirit that lives in me. I constantly feel I am useless.. And people don't deserve my time. When an attempt to strike conversation w someone failed.. And my colleagues can enjoy heart to conversation.. I will think there must be something wrong w me
When my frens graduate from their studies.. And I'm still studying,. I Will think there is something wrong with me.
With the recent episode w vic. And sometimes when members tell me me can't serve. They can't come Cg or service.. Cos they are doing assignment... I will think is it because there is something wrong w cell group or service? Or am I thinking too much.
I fell sick twice in these 2 weeks. Body is weak. I feel so weak.
God look at me. I have nothing to lead the people. No credentials. I am not a role model. Whats good in me? What's my strength? I feel so helpless now.
Hopeless. And I don't kow what to do. I don't know what is the next step to take..
Ng, sent via iphone �
[Godliness with contentment is great gain]
Friday, July 22, 2011
She said our big boss is happy that I'm more lively .. Seldom doze off in work when I change my seat to seat near my department colleagues (previously I seat far away from my dept due to com shortage)
Hearing this makes me happy.. But yet.. I can't help thinking inhale a weak body. I tried to sleep earlier but I still feel so tired at work. Sometimes I really don't know why. Just so tired.
When I'm out w frens.. I will get tired easily.....
:( and they are all upset of me because of that
I'm really frustrated over all these things...
Frustrated that I'm not being the head ... But Im being the tail.
Something is really wrong huh
Then my boss says I always give an image that I look blur or loss hen communicating w people. She knows I'm not.. But I always give people tha perception.. By my countenance and subtle reactions....
I really seek to improve what I can improve. :( but I want to e promoted! She says she is worried how well I can cope. Can I multitask. Will I get stress easily. Can I remember things better.
There was once I was having a bad flu. My female colleagues were pushing their pedestal.. And when I did not offer to help... They feedback to the boss I'm somehow rather passive.
Boss knows I'm in church and in community Svc. She knows I'm sick.
Somehow I could have still step out and offer help. Think the holy spirit nudge me. But seeing how some other colleague help. I think I am not needed
I seem to be underperforming in my work :( seem like I am giving lots of bad impression of myself..
But she gave me positive feedbacks too. On how I led huddle .. Is very natural. I engage the people well.
Thinking though all these things.. Honestly I feel discourage.
Thinking I can't bid for a house for Xiuwen makes me even more sad. If we can't bid soon.. Then when :(? When there are no more slots? And we have to wait past 2014? 2015? 2016?
I hope to have a house of my own.... W the woman I love.
Sometimes she is busy.... W so many things and so many people. When my school starts.. Will she have time for me..
Ok I'm gg to rant this out. End of rant
Now God.. These are things I need help in. Maybe I need to readjust my perspective alittle. Maybe I need to pray up and find strength to e able to face up to certain challenges.
I can only say lord... I wanna trust you, I know I have deep issues. But God can u please deliver me. Help me o see a breakthrough for every single prob here.
I can't shine as salt and light if I can't even take care of myself. Right God?
My heart pains. I don't know why... It just hurts so much when I think of all these things. I need you God :((
Ng, sent via iphone �
[Godliness with contentment is great gain]
Monday, June 20, 2011
even as i write this. i feel miserable. i dont even feel like talking to a soul about this. nobody understand this.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
1 Thessalonians 1
1 Paul, Silas[a] and Timothy,
To the church of the Thessalonians in God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ:
Grace and peace to you.
Thanksgiving for the Thessalonians’ Faith2 We always thank God for all of you and continually mention you in our prayers. 3 We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.
4 For we know, brothers and sisters[b] loved by God, that he has chosen you, 5 because our gospel came to you not simply with words but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and deep conviction. You know how we lived among you for your sake. 6 You became imitators of us and of the Lord, for you welcomed the message in the midst of severe suffering with the joy given by the Holy Spirit. 7 And so you became a model to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia. 8 The Lord’s message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia—your faith in God has become known everywhere. Therefore we do not need to say anything about it, 9 for they themselves report what kind of reception you gave us. They tell how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God, 10 and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead—Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath.
i have been reading the books of Thessalonians. and it has been really been a book that share about a very faithful, studious group of people ... who perservered in the trials of faith, loving God and people. i have been thinking how to study the word of God for awhile... to read through it repeatedly ? listen to it again and again ? meditate and ponder the word ? speak out and confess the verses ? find out the historical context of the people ?