Seeing it again

Day 2 of my fast. It's lunch time and I am at Want cafe w bb. Quite exhausted by the workload and pace today. But thank God for this lunch time break.. And my bb for coming down to see me. :)

This whole week I have been meditating on psalms 34. 

It has been an encouragement to me to know God hears me, and it inspires me to taste and see the goodness of God.

I really need this "food" cos at the start of the year. It seems like I put myself in rocket mode. Rushing everything I can to make things work. Ending up really drained at the end of each day. It becomes a cycle of weariness that left my mind unguarded. Negative thoughts take root. And hence... I became a defeated person.

God spoke to Jacob: "Go back to Bethel. Stay there and build an altar to the God who revealed himself to you when you were running for your life from your brother Esau." Jacob told his family and all those who lived with him, "Throw out all the alien gods which you have, take a good bath and put on clean clothes, we're going to Bethel. I'm going to build an altar there to the God who answered me when I was in trouble and has stuck with me everywhere I've gone since." They turned over to Jacob all the alien gods they'd been holding on to, along with their lucky-charm earrings. Jacob buried them under the oak tree in Shechem. Then they set out. A paralyzing fear descended on all the surrounding villages so that they were unable to pursue the sons of Jacob. Jacob and his company arrived at Luz, that is, Bethel, in the land of Canaan. He built an altar there and named it El-Bethel (God-of-Bethel) because that's where God revealed himself to him when he was running from his brother. And that's when Rebekah's nurse, Deborah, died. She was buried just below Bethel under the oak tree. It was named Allon-Bacuth (Weeping-Oak). God revealed himself once again to Jacob, after he had come back from Paddan Aram and blessed him: "Your name is Jacob (Heel); but that's your name no longer. From now on your name is Israel (God-Wrestler)." (Genesis 35:1-10 MSG)

"running for your life from your brother Esau"

- speaks of Jacob running away from his fear and anxiety. Running to anywhere that can bring him  peace, stability and safety.

But God says., come back. Come back to bethel. The foundation of everything. The house of God. The bread of life is in there.

He spoke once to Naomi and Ruth too on this.

It's easy for us to run away.. Or run to a target. But I think when our life is threaten and in a mess... I must run back to the house of God.

He says build an altar.

Altar signifies a life of worship. A life that places Jesus in the centre. 

When that happens... A certain peace comes in. The anxiety and stress starts to move away.

God I want to rebuild this altar again. I want to see things in your perspective. I don't require any understanding on why things happen this way. Just open my eyes again to see your goodness.. And open my heart again that I may receive your love..

"They turned over to Jacob all the alien gods they'd been holding on to, along with their lucky-charm earrings. Jacob buried them under the oak tree in Shechem"

 

I believe this speaks of turning away from idolatry. Idolatry is simply anything that takes the place of God as the centre. In our lives. 

When we give value/ high importance... And push away the attention of God ( that he wants to commune with us) ... We become isolated.

I become isolated. I think I honestly put other things before Him. My results became important to me. It's likes Xw says... They become so important I am letting "these things" define me.

I am not defined by works or results. Someone's when expectations are placed on me.. I tend to feel pressured. I want to run away. I think that only when I achieve something.. Then i can come back to God. To the people I care about. And show them that I have not wasted their investments on me.' 

God.. It doesn't matter all that now. Coa all these investments that they place on me... I won't be worried anymore that it won't bear fruit. Cos God all these comes from you. If you choose not to help me,.. Then I can never do it. But if u place me here for a reason.,, u will have a way to help

Me balance my commitments and be a victorious person through all these.

God... I place all these idols in your hands. Take it away. I want to please you and know your heart more. Come help me...

3)"God revealed himself once again to Jacob, after he had come back from Paddan Aram and blessed him: "Your name is Jacob (Heel); but that's your name no longer. From now on your name is Israel (God-Wrestler)."

The blessing of God comes after he pass through a struggle.  

Does it have to be through a struggle for that we can have a breakthrough?

Perhaps it's just a renewing of mind.. And rededicating our heart.

God I really need your breakthrough: no more struggles w. my identities. No 

More stress over my work. No more defeated mindset that steals my joy. No more directionless living.

God I want to have a breakthrough. 

I pray that I can become a stronger, resilient.... And faith-ful man.