Back in line.

Everyone seems to be in joyous mode. A's and O's are out. Some people are going to poly. Some to JCs. Others to unis. Some overseas. And some with nowhere to go .. like me. Gee it is hard to fit in among this crowd. The scenario somehow makes you wanna shrink into oblivion ... to probably a tiny microscopic prokaryotic cell. That would somehow bring acertain ease to your mind. I am just happy that people around me have now a good place waiting for them. Such joy would probably cover the emptiness i am feeling inside.

After service, mom had scolded me for not photocopying my slip in time and giving it to her. Well, my day just kinda sunk even deeper. Its just the way it is, you have to handle situations and peolpe around you even though they do not really know how bad you feel. I just need breathing space. To get out of everybody's way to be with just myself. Not that i am running away from people, but i understand that i need time for myself. To be alone [with God if possible]. Basically, i have my reasons to isolate myself ...

Not that i wanan run away, not that i wanna make pple worrry, not that i am trying to hide.
But for the peace i wish to be with myself. You can call it reflection. I call it self-revistation.

After service i went to the one place to calm me. But as i expected, i met alot of people ... meaning to say my self-assumed to be quiet place isn't that quiet and deserted after all. It so happens that there is an event call Girl power - where rock bands with female leads are invited to perform. Of course the main instrument in rock bands are guitar ... an instrument which i am much fanatic about. Rock music isn't the kinda music that calms people, which ironically is what i expect to get from that place. However, music is sure a way to inspire feelings in our soul. The rock music sudden ignite a feeling in the vacant space of my heart. It sorta reminded me about something ... passion. As i look at the female lead strumming heartily, the support guitarist shaking his head stylishly, the drummer banging everything he sees feverishly, i have practically be taught another side of life. I need to find this. Unknowingly i smile to myself ..

hey, y so glum? You need another adventure, not another dip in the pool.

Jeez what an interesting night. I feel more liberated than usual. I feel better now and I would wanna discover the fire or passion within me.