reflections

its so funny. stepping from one foundation to another foundation. a stepping stone to another stepping stone. everything in life seems to be a breeze once. but after i found a greater cause... things really changed. (and yea it's for the better of cos)



many times i feel angry with God. i am an angry man. i am angry with alot of things sometimes. pls allow me to be humane for this post. if not u can just click the 'x' button at the top right hand side of screen.


i feel angry with God. earlier this week... i felt resentful to God for so many things. like i feel inpatient with colleagues. sometimes i feel that my love life wasn't as much as i expect it to be. i feel i am not fit to be a leader of any sort. i have no skills. i heard that i have no good humour. i am too long-winded. i cant engage new frens.there are so many things in life that tells me .. i shouldn't be here.

but yet i am here. i am doing what i need to do. serving what i need to serve. but most importantly .. building my life and character. and learning to rely more and more on Jesus. i feel fustrated when i dun see results. i was betrayed sometimes by frens. i feel disappointed when frens i knew for long behave so 'different'. it's like i never knew them anymore.


Pastor Kong shared something that lifted me up. it's ok to be human. that's also precisely we need God. we just have to continue to make the right decisions .. meditate or ponder abt positive - edifying words that encourages.. rather than condemns. love rather than hate.


as i went deeper with you. the hole that i dug seems more pitch black then before. it seems really yucky. but i know soon... i can see the real jewels and seeds of great great stuff being driven deep in that soil. and out of it will come all my favourite fruits of love.. peace.. joy.. longsuffering... kindness.. goodness.. simply just nice fruits.


i said this today to my bs student.
sow a thot, reap an act
sow an act, reap a habit
sow a habit, reap a character
sow a character, reap a destiny.

world-shakers and history makers aren't forged overnight. our faith is perfected thru fire and flames. patience.

endure

frustrated!


but got to endure it thru!


God makes all things new!

blessed.

thanks for being there on 8 october for my bday!


in sms.. or in facebook.. or twitter.. or in real life. ya kindness and generosity is awesome!



wasn't feeling very well this week. every year.. and even more this year.... i was excited for my birthday. but just as the days draw nearer and nearer... i began to dread! :( most of it is because of my bad experience in my previous birthday celebs. makes me feel that bday celeb is so cliche.. pple are there just for the sake of being there.


but this year.. yea my mind was brought back to reneweal. dear tell me how much the pple love me. my leader tells me how much she appreciate me. my seniors told me how encouraged she felt when i stand in the gap to do things... it's a great affirmation to me.



Thank God this year.. im another year mature.. and another year in love with God.. had a women in my life who always feed my tummy... and a great group of perservering frens in a family. i certainly hope i can draw back the bridge with my own flesh and blood family this year. i hate to be there listening to naggings. but i am a no longer a child. time to move to a realm of receiving the annointing and releasing it!! :)


Thanks for the branded wallet... the vouchers, cash, cards... and affirmations.:)

wrong

when all things feel wrong! and you feel stuck! what do you do?!?!?!?!??!



i feel like yelling.




i want to KICK the door!




sigh.




but God is good. i dunno why i always struggle with this. but God is good. His goodness overwhelms all the weird things in my life.




this is the breaking point! here cometh thy breakthru!

and one great thing happen today. a friend accepted Christ in cg :):) awesome!

Birthday Wish

time really past.....



but i am getting really excited !! :)



cos my birthday is coming!




This year i wish that...






























There ish world peace!



haha nah


my wishlist:

1) W116 Grow in maturity to be a family that is hungry for God and meeting the needs of people, winning the souls of the world.

2) My studies result gets better. have study partners to pace myself thru the year.

3) okok! i want nice shirts (small size for american brands) from springfield or Espirit! my 2 fav shops introduced by dear dear. zara also can... =D

4) a nice leather jacket. (hmmm most prob getting that in HK)

5) working attires.

6) a new smartphone deal! its expensive so think i am hunting for cheap 2nd hand deals! :P ideally HTC? if not iphone :)

7) a nice group of friends that celebrate with me :) keke

trusties

everyone shld have a group of trusties! like someone u can count your back on. it's a relationship principle i feel.

Trusties are there no matter what happen they will always back you up. and support your dream. and likewise if trusties fall, we help them up.


i feel happy to know i felt a group of trusties beside me. it's more than just a relationship or friendship you know.

to me i define trusties as :

a man or woman who lay down their lives to hold up their friends/companions/loved ones so that they can fulfill their life's calling. and bring their dream to completion.


i think im getting to know really good trusties. i am not sure sometimes. but to all those trusties... i am willing to lay down mine for u too!


hav ya found a trusty yet?

The Climb

[Miley Cyrus]

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

This song is inspirational! :)
for those who is going through rough times... keep climbing! it's within ya reach.

'Jonah Brothers'

i think the word grace is something special.



it comes when u weren't very good at job... the economy is bad.. but u received an unexpected 'leap' in performance. the boss praised you.



when you thought you weren't good enough.. someone taps u in the back and say .. ya doing great!



when u desperately tried many times to get a job with a minimum fixed salary and failed... but the next thing you know a job exactly u want lands at ya feet.



when u walk down the streets of ya hometown.. pple are sleepin @ the streets. (and their old pple) and u have a bed and warm blanket to lie on.



when u find a special someone in ya life... that even thru stormy days.. she will shine.



when ya work becomes a battlefield ... politics reign.. but in the same env the little things around u encourages you in the office.



when u feel like u cant do it... they say actually u've done a great job.



different snippets of life. same God we serve. it's by God's ace we are found. Thank God for God's grace. we are made righteous.. by grace thru faith.


many times i feel like Jonah of the bible. a guy that cant figure things out. and yet i sit angry.. asking God a million why!? but God patiently fans away the flame. puts out a shade. and says u are called by me.

God's grace.. as common as it may be in this world. as ordinary as it may seem. it's powerful enuff to substain life.

Thank God!

hmm

i still haven check my exam results...

so scary! everyone ard me seems like they failed :(

okok. no more :(



i shall check !!! and then i shalll share discreetly.

simple breakthru!

Thank God!


every single day,, me and a group of temps are busy clearing our work of enrolling customers for some electronic service! the backlog we have to clear is 3000++ of paperwork! well each 'case' can be cleared very fast.. but with the high amount of work flowing in everyday (500-600) .. work can be tiring!


thank God! that with the help of th rest of my temp colleagues.. we manage to clear the backlog from 3000++ to now 2046! so its a big big jump within a week! :D Boss praise us for our good work. but still we are in hot soup because 2000 of overdued paper work is still alot. hehe.... But God! will see us through this!



just had cell group. and well i felt dishearted at the start. i lack practise on my guitar... suddenly felt so rusty.... but i am thankful the presence of God was there... and i am longing to have more powerful meetings... where .. when we worship... we have open heaven : and we simultaneously see the vision of God for our cell group! i heard from xiuwen once when she shared many many years back and felt so inspired! those meetings that all of us burn with the fire and thirst for more .... or even simple meetings when God speaks to our heart.

whatever it is.. .the impact will be - as if we have striked a 'homerun'. i long for that.


Thank God for the wonderful pple in W116.


Thank God for such nice dedicated colleagues... (who likes to eat so much much fast food O_O )


Thank God for your grace in my life.


Thank God for - You. cos in You.. i am weak.. but yet i am strong.

!!

felt so tired this week!


but today was so happy to see yuan jun and john water baptised!


greater things are ahead!

passing by and..

i saw my neighbour sleeping on the sidewalk at my level....



i asked him why he slept there..



he said he doesn't want to quarrel with his family.



after i helped him to his house... he refused to go in.




i wondered what happened to his famuly. quarrels often echoed out of their house. sometimes shoutings and screamings. well in the past .. my house is often filled with shoutings too.. but for them right now.. their aged father sleeps outside.



i feel kinda bad for him. i met him occasionally day by day. but i hardly knew him.



and everyday... i see many people sleeping in the streets of chinatown.




is there anything that can be done?

i'll follow you and live by faith

just came back from cg.


it's been a pretty great meeting. felt encouraged!


today.. ive been thinking to myself how weak i am. how insignificant iam. but not in a condemning way... that says : i am useless. i am lousy.

its more of thoughts like.. God i cant do this. but You can do it. help my unbelief. there are people i am struggling to communicate to. talking to them makes me feel uneasy. but i know i am place in this relationships for a reason. in work. in cg. and family.


it becomes like the end of me. God is indeedd Good! He is always there...



though all else falls away.. still i'll praise.
It's for Freedom that Christ has set us free..
i live for you .. and not for me anymore
and your mercy is new with everyday.
No longer will i forfeit Grace.. i'll follow you and live by Faith!

life of Grace

im tired today! but thank God.. i m refreshed! tired outside.. but rrrrreeerfresh inside.


this few days... ive been feeling alittle clumsy and blur. i lost some of my personal stuff.. which i really deem as important. :( and work-wise.. seems i keep meeting problems! hmmm am i feeling like this cos of lack of sleep?


hmm..



anyway.. been blessed by today's meeting. When christian takes Holy communion.. it goes more than just renouncing your sins. we partake the power of God... and the life of Jesus with us. Amd i felt God speaking to me.. remember those things you felt ashame of? it's all covered up.



When our lives get busy... it's easy to set our eyes on the cares of the world. but the real hope comes from knowing Jesus is the centre of our lives again. Jesus is. and forever is. our best friend.

thoughts..

cell group ended. im tired. but im glad to see the people.. rejoicing.. and building their altar before God.


i am not perfect.. but i shall continue to stand in the gap. to be a man of God.



test tomorrow!!!

Conformity or not?

Here are 2 videos study the nature of human to submit to peer pressure. and conform to your group! This is the power of group influence!

These are some of the videos shown in my ESAP (elements of sociology and psychology) class. it's pretty interesting. but yet sometimes i struggle to stay awake in class!

Indeed - whether we like it or not.. we provide certain form of impact or influence to people around us. and a place of a agreement is a place of power!

reflections #101

i am proud of my CG!! :) cos i know they are trying their best to be pillars of the group. but more importantly .. they are great people with great attitude..



there are certain days i feel like carrying big hammers to knock at people's head..



there are days i feel like burying my head underwater (sand alil too hot) .. cos of my blunders and mistakes..



there are days where i feel that God... if you don't come through.. i don't know what to do!!



these are e days of cell group leadership. in usher .. i had my experience. welcome to cg ministry again Jason. it's so different... but it's great! I am so excited :D :D :D

You've been a good apprentice to me, a part of my teaching, my manner of life, direction, faith, steadiness, love, patience, troubles,sufferings—suffering along with me in all the grief I had to put up with in Antioch, Iconium, and Lystra. And you also well know that God rescued me! Anyone who wants to live all out for Christ is in for a lot of trouble; there's no getting around it. Unscrupulous con men will continue to exploit the faith.

2 Timothy 3:10

back from..

back from Nigel and Louise's wedding! the place (raffles marina) is beautiful. the food was good. and most of all - im honoured to be their guitarist for their wedding... :) took alot of pics today.. sadly i miss my 2 dear frens' wedding ... errrrr SOT graduation ..


im alil tired. had been along long day.


blessed. thank God.

Professional Faith is Faith ?

Does knowing more of something makes you a better Christian ? What is professional
Christianity? And what is Christianity about ?


i think through time... we (that includes me) lose the focus of God .. the focus of where to go in our lives.. and we are unseemingly 'suck' into the roller coaster of life.


Is Christianity that dead ?? Sometimes we talk about faith as if there is nothing we can expect from the supernatural... from God. We talk about faith as a formula. its a substance of things hoped for. it is .... trust in God. it is ....


what is faith ?


why do you even bother coming to church ? or attend CG ?


cos the CGL ask you to ?


Why do you serve God ?


What is the meaning of cell group and the body of Christ to you ?


what is a high-flyer Christian ? a very succesful man that won praises ?


topics like this seems to flood my mind now and then. Are we getting the right focus?




Jesus said 2 words. " Follow me."

then he followed and say - I will make you fishers of men.

Follow Him. it's hard to miss Him. cos He has big footprints.

everything else is just ... sinking sand.

Giving Thanks

Despite all that happens.. could you give thanks in everything ??


it's a wow thing cos it's not easy. but yet this is what the word of God reveals. In thanksgiving.. we acknowledge God and his power.


Pastor says that dilligence is produced through thanksgiving. joy runneth over. and you are flooded with a covering of Grace like never before. Giving thanks despite you feel life is like a vacuum cleaner. when ya down on the pit. when you meet people who u feel like sticking 2 fingers in their eyes.


Give thanks!! cos God is good. and He will forever be.

Beautiful

-by CHC

[intro]
C F F#m

C
love without condition
F
heart that always listens
F#m
to a crying world
C
Lord of all creation
F
humble as a sevant
F#m
With You, all praise begins



Grace is all sufficient
You become my portion
More than life could bring
All my past forsaken
I lay my own ambition
before my King of dreams



[Pre Chorus]

G Csus4
what can i give that's worthy
F F#m
to You my soul will sing



[Chorus]
C Am7
Beautiful One, Merciful Son
F
The Crown of all heaven
G
reigning in my heart
C Am7
Beautiful Love, gift from above
F
Adore You forever
G
My Saviour Jesus


[Interlude] x1
G Am7 C Csus2


[Bridge]
C
More
than enough, you're
Am7
More than enough, you're
F G
More than enough, for me

I love this song. right from the start when the song begins.. just feel like tearing.
And when it comes to the brigde.. it reminds me of an overflowing cup of Grace. what a beautiful song. The chords are interpreted by me. the interlude part im still not very sure,.. but this is sure a song i would like to sing in CG! your love is so beautiful

Lord you are Good

Lord You are Good
[Israel Houghton]

Lord You Are Good And Your Mercy Endures Forever
(2x)

A B/A C/A D/A
People From Every Nation And Tongue From
Generation To Generation

Chorus

E B D A
We Worship You
Hallelujah Hallelujah
E B D A
We Worship You For Who You Are
E B D A
We Worship You Hallelujah Hallelujah
E/G# Bm7 C - D
We Worship You
For Who You Are You Are Good

Band Interlude: (E- B/E- D/E- A/E)

Bridge:

E5 G5 A
Yes You Are, Yes You Are, Yes You Are
E5
D5 A/C# (C-B)
So Good, So Good, So Good (repeat)
E5 G5 A E5 D5 A/C#
(C-B)
Yes You Are, Yes You Are, Yes You Are

E5 G5 A
You Are Good
All The Time
E5 D5 A/C# (C-B)
All The Time You Are Good (repeat)

(Repeat Verse and Chorus)

Ending:
C2-D C2/E- D/F#
For
Who You Are For Who You Are
Am7-B7 E5
For Who You Are You Are Good

i like this song! so hip! so cool! sang in FOP today!

i really like todays msg too in FOP! to be a better brother. be a loving brother. don't tie knots.

tmr got to wake up early!! hehe

Pastoral-ship

I had the priviledge to seat down together with the other cgls and Pastor Chee Kiang for a heart to heart talk on Tuesday! it was quite different atmosphere cos we are all seated in a small room ... pack together ard the table infront of Pastor! so it's literally meeting Him face to face to talk! The great thing is .. admist his busy schedule .. he still makes time for us... and he wants us to really get back to know Jesus more. because many time we serve and serve.. but we forgot Who we are serving... or Why we were here in the 1st place..


He posed mind provoking questions to us too... like did God created Sin ? The bible states God created all things... and all things as we know means all things. If that is the case.. that that means Sin is also in God's mind... and therefore... God could have 'made' sin .. (or not?)

It's interesting food for thot. Some of us said some funnny things... like God created Adam.. and Adam is told to multiply and fill the earth with earthlings. so actually.... it's just a matter of time someone stumble on the tree and eat its fruits! and also the serpants will also reproduce and have more... so more serpants will be around to deceive men... so either way.. we die! haha funny ans hor..

admist all this my take : was that God did not created sin. Sin is act and a consequence. In a short and sweet note: Sin to me is just the refusal to put God in your life as your God and friend. Something else takes that place in your heart and you feel you don't need God. Even tho sometimes you may acknowledge God is good .. or there may be a God .. but you just accept God as the centre of your life. That act... brings abt Sin into the earth (consequence). and all of us have (sin) in our lives. We become selfish and God-less. That consequence in short is seperation. This means God created sin? i would think it as God gave 'choice'. That you can choose every single people in your life. whether to accept them.. deny them .. have marriage with that person... choice.


Interesting talk right. but sometimes in these meetings.. can really feel tired. so honestly it can talke a toll on your motivation. but looking on the bright side.. you see a very humorous side of pastor. you see the very fun side of the cgls there. and you see how different people talk about their life exp with God. how they seek God during their tough times.


in tough or good.. God is good.



anyway i really hope to have a strong relationship with people this year. sometimes when you look around.. you just want to have a close friend next to you. i have sunshine. :) but in a spiritual family... i do want to see a close friend. i do.


God pls make a way! let this be a journey then when we look back... we'll not regret.

Life is turning up

feel quite tired this week! :) but i feel really happy! by the grace of God... we met 9 overseas students coming over to our church.. and they are all doctors- to - be who wanted to live their life to make a difference. [Malaysian fellowship]. I am amazed by their faith! check out their website!

and now im back at citibank! it's like im running a circle .. and now im back again! but still want to thank God for the job. it's really a simple job so far.. with a better pay than my prev job as a telemarketer... less scoldings.. more chances to interact with people [cos i can email!] ... have higher chance to meet dear^^ ... and it allows me to go school earlier! so much good things! PTL!

anyway i enjoy fellowshippin w frens tis week! met pat , yuan jun and gao peng 4 pit stop! it's been a good relaxing time! not really relaxing ... but more of fun and simple chill out activity.. that involves team work.. plannings and deliberate attempt to stay 'alive' in the game! it was fun! a break from the normal L4d every week experience..

Then i met my JC mates to support one of his friend's committee DnD event. it was quite badly responded event.. very little pple came.. quite lame performance .. cos the magician is very very egoistic! i caught my fren dozing off half wayy thru e show. but i guess we dun mind coming down tog to help out another person's event!

i am also happy to talk to some of the long-lost members in our cg! like my and nhut! haha.. this week so much fellowship. ok time to go play abit of monster hunt! den sleep

Vision..

Great Leadership comes with a price.



There's more work to be done...



But the works flows from You!



Ultimately .. it's about You!



When no one's there .. You were there.



When i work in despair.. You were there.



When people needs to know You more.. You were there (with us)




I've been riding on her annointing for a long time... (and the church)




i've got to get my own mana and feed my sheeps..




Now : It takes 6 times more firepower to obtain a new ground than to stay at a old ground.




Help me o Lord to be the Man. No more running wild.

Refreshing~

This week was indeed a refreshing week! :)



1st i ate shokudo,. yums! So long never eat there.... so refreshing! . . .

2nd Elaine's Back!!! i feel stress but yet i feel i wanna talk to her more... but she's really busy! i realise after she's back.. it's like everyone's different. we are more relax and happy. wow... it's like the good o days in our family fellowship again..

3rd Rev Dr. A.R. Bernard was here! I mean i am chewing on so much green pasture... i really need time to digest the great word. Most impt .. i needa get my own rhema every week


4th Overnight Prayer Meeting [OPM] with Ps Chee Kiang was great! He talked about how sometimes we loose track of Jesus in our lives when we are caught up with the ministry.. the people.. the struggle... the pain... that the reality of God is missing.


Actually to talk on that... i just chatted with one member on the issue of feeling the presence of God. many people on stage in the past few weeks have been talking about God... being so near to us. but why sometimes does He seem so far ?


to think abt this now... it's a funny feeling. cos i remembered asking my spiritual mom in my 1st cg .. What is the presence of God ? why can a person weep and laugh under this ?? she tell me it's not always just a feeling... it is also a knowledge of the goodness of God. it's also abt experiencing something extraodinary in life that after considering all aspects of the situation... - you can only conclude it's God that makes it work!


For me .. i only got the head knowledge. i am a guy that likes to think. to ponder. and i always think that nature in itself is a real proof of the very loving and detailed God that we serve. It's like the bible say.. (Luke 12:23-27)

"Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothing. Consider the
ravens, for they neither sow nor reap, which have neither storehouse nor barn;
and God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds? And which of
you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? If you then are not able to do
the least, why are you anxious for the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow:
they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you, even Solomon in all his glory
was not arrayed like one of these."

But yet the emotional experience... and the blessings in my situation. it wasn't so immediate. but the greatest need of mine was met. it was loneliness. And that was God's no1. in his to-do list he has worked on. That was probably what i needed the most at that time.... It's awesome! PTL! :)


After he dealt with my heart.. i could see better. and i could trust and could reason better. that God is not just a beautiful creator.. He is true to His word! If he bring comforts to the broken-hearted.... and it was a strong form of assurance that i kept in my heart. He was slowly restoring me for a greater purpose

So pretty much like what Ps A.R. Bernard has shared.. God's revelational experience is not just a something we can talk abt and forget abt it. It's present in our everyday lives! Christ is very much integrated.. interwoven into fragments of our life.. sometimes it's hard not to see. It's only difficult to exp God when we have set our idols in our life. When we are so attracted to something that we lose touch with something that's precious. something that gives meaning to our lives...


Life is more than just play.. study... or e motions of eat , sleep and work. It has a deeper meaning than that... there's got to be something more in life.

Amazed

how your words have called me back to my first love...



and helped me understand the purpose of 1st works..


thanks for Your reminder... Thank you abba Father.

*new* look

Change new blogskin! yes fresh new look :) neater and cooler!

but still has unfinshed.... sigh changing blogskin for me is really a big pain(t) job. i need a new com!



played L4D with the bros like (so many so many so many) times with the bros. the fulfillment of killing zombies and working as a team to slay the evil forces has reached a whole new level of fun! but certain times it feels like strangling your team-mates.. i guess this is how you grow in teamwork and relationship.



more than that... played table tennis few weeks back. sigh wanna do more sports... but school is starting so soon. exams coming out soon. it's really scary.



but i know more things are waiting for me to be done. gotta go all out.



anyway i hope my little brother in my cg can think things thru and consider well his directions. don't make decision of a lifetime by impulse. cos a family is not formed thru sweet good times. it's formed by sticking together and making it thru tog as one. :)


alrighto

a short hurray - - -

this week has been a pleasant week. i've finally got my pay.. :) so no more living on simple yucky food. hehehe


Thank God

Hakuna Matata

I've sign up for my new modules this week. school's going to start real soon! in another 2 more weeks... in 7 July class will start! sigh our holiday's quite short =/ ..... but this year i chose interesting modules! Corporate Finance ( heard its a killer ), Investment Management, Sociology and Psychology course, Marketing. Seems all soo interesting! hehe



Sigh i feel i need to draw back to God. i miss morning Prayer meetings! >:O got to discipline myself to wake up early to pray!



ok enuff rabble babble..

Roadshow

I am going for roadshow again at clementi!



hope the weather is kind

God is Good

All the time!


:) ole!

Random Spills

i like fellowshipping with cg. Thank God for the growth. Thank God for the job. Thank God for the sweet lady supporting me. Thank God for the W116 times. There God that yesterday our cg has about 7 new friends for outing. it's a start. Thank God that my struggles that i have conquered. Thank God for the blessings you gave to my friends. Thank God for the covering and annoiting of my church leaders... leaders who paid the price so that i can enjoy. Thank God!


Tmr going to start 2nd day in as Manulife's Telemarketer. Hope i can make 3 deals tomorrow! :)

Good O' Days

great times. great moments.

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOO

helllo im backy back back.





i really hate studying now. dunno why. truthfully i dun feel passionate abt exams. yea yea all of us dun. if i think positive abt it ... its a good way to lose weight! but den again why am i gaining so much layers of 'blubber' under my tummy skin. its a paradox!



anyway i just have to keep on keeping on.



seriously been thinking abt alot of things abt myself lately. when it was mother's day this year .. i was feeling down again. but after a good let-out... i thank God im still here with a blessed family and friends. its silly sometimes... i have a tendency to run away from life. run away from what i have to face. but where can u run to in life from yourself? indeed if i dun have the strength of God.. i dun think i could be where i am today. seeing the beautiful people i meet everyday. appreciating life like the sweet scent of the sea. :) i love sea.



i just had a long chat with a ex-colleague of mine. feel quite sad that he's not happy at work and is giving up on a friend he knew so long. many things came to my mind as i chat... i think its true that we tend to give up on what life throws at you. : or you just don't wanna care abt it anymore. when the job you do sucks. when u have to face a demanding boss... when ya friends betray ya trust. when ya parents abandon ya. when the people u love do something u hate the most... we have all reasons to be angry abt it.. yea.. but yet i cant help thinking if im the person that wrong. the very 1st thing i will really want is someone to forgive me. i'll be serious enough... to change and remember (to my best) not to do something wrong again. i will hope the person will forgive. the funny thing is in life is it's so difficult to forgive. but it's easy to neglect people's feelings. it's easy to take things for granted. it's easy to say thoughtless things to people. it's easy to mind our own business. it's easy to criticise every 'speck of fault' we see. yet it's hard to forgive.


scandalon. is probably the best word to describe the place of unforgiveness. it's hard. but those who can do it can live with peace. and with less bitterness. because our heart grieves in a trap state of unforgiveness. that's why its more joyous to forgive. your heart can only be filled with the fullness measure of joy when you forgive..




Lord i forgive my mom. restore to me the peace once again. amen!

POA and Faith

Our lecturer mentioned about this in the early lessons on Principle of Accounts..


If the business transactions are on credit terms with cash payments made later, Would you :

1) record the transactions only when cash change hands ?

2) Or record both : i.e. first the credit transactions and then the cash settlements later whn they occur ?


Which will it be ?




The answer is 2!



For better information an for planning and control : The Realisation Concept identifies a transaction as 'realised' when it gives legal rights to the receipt or payment of money or other asset which can be assessed with reasonable certainty.



So when a sale is made a trade debtor (account receivable) is created. When a purchase is made : a trade creditor (account payeble) is created.


Accounts are all about records and records. In studying this subject .. apart from losing some hair .. i realise that it's pretty link to the issue of Faith.


Many times its hard to come to believe until we have something we can see in our hands. The practical .. the logical side of our mind will reason... and think if it can be done. This is also a part of fatih that some people actually tend to forget (including me). Faith ain't blind... but it considers the circumstances 'how improbable or how impossible' and its an assurance that God has taken care of it. Even if we don't receive the cold hard cash... we know that when we do a credit transaction... be it an online transfer of money... or when we tap our EZ-link card when we take public transport.. a transaction of the unseen is made. This is really much like faith. You cant see it.. but something is being taken care in the unseen. Money transaction are taken care of electronically. Our lives are taken care of in the spirit when we put our trust in God. That's why in Jer 29:11 : In the hardness of times.. Jeremiah proclaimed to the people all things will work for the good of those who love God!



Faith is the assurance of things hoped for. The confidence that is put in us when we feel hopeless. It takes us to God's realm .. and tells us it's all been done. God has given us the legal right as christians that we'll inherit the promise of God. If we walk with him.. there is a security like no other. We'll be blessed.

Exams!!

Exams coming in just a week !!! :O



haven take exams in awhile. im not feeling confident. But Faith is a substance of things hoped for, evidence of things unseen! And i will succeed!

Come on Jason

Faith is a substance of things hoped for

After a talk with Elaine... i feel at peace. i am no superhuman. just alittle thick-skulled at times. i cant get myself to arise. i wont get away from the negative things that spur in my mind. it's horrible.


when many times i ask God, " Why? why this mountain ?" .. a funny feeling hit me and say ... You know it better than i do.


I am sorry God. Now's not the time to say disheartening things like why ?? .. or i cant do it anymore. I pray that i will be much much stronger this time. with a bigger mindset. i am a christian. i am blessed to succeed. i am blessed to bless people around me. amen.

too big to fill

im filling a big pair of boots.




my feet feels naked at times.




but i'll perservere ...




tired.

down under

im feeling the blues..


sigh.

---

but He who is in me is Greater than He who is in the world.

Twit

now I twitter too :D

Rattlesation

It's time for rattlesation!


I type this while my baby is sleeping.. and because her daddy's laptop is more comfortable and reliable to use than my little grampy com at home! (wols! man)



hmm... have many things to share.. many things i kept in my heart.. sometimes sunshine reprimanded me for not telling her... (ironic for the fact that i kept telling her to share her worries with me..), so i shall share some here. find typing it out is the best way to let out...



i've been quite depress for a while after Elaine left actually. I've felt back the old feelings of incompetency.. of lousiness... of loneliness... of shame... yea.. you know the list.. some of us share bits of pessimism from time to time. but ya i can only let this 'emotions' run for awhile... after that i've got to get my game up and keep running again.



as i slowly take up the responsibility of cell group leading... i began to feel a shift of weights.. leading cell group is really something of a whole new ... different dimension.... it's a whole different ground. Leading in a operational based group (usher) has taught me to react to different situations .. and i have to take ownership, work as a team, and find the best solution to cater to the situation. pretty much like situational awareness in army. im still not really good i that i feel. nevertheless, i find serving under such unforseen circumstances especially exciting and enjoyable in church! :) most importantly i met great frens there...


As i switch to cell group ministry.. i know it's goin to be something really different. the most challenging part would really be being a good minister and a good shephard. to gather and lead sheeps. speaking of which.. everytime i think abt leadership and helpership in church .. i remember the 1st call God gave me: that if you love me. feed my sheeps. if you love me, tend to my sheeps. if you love me.. feed them. After which, i began my exciting ministry in serving God! :)



The fun part of CG ministry to me :) ? it's to see lives grow. i wanna see that their lives changed. and right now i thank God im getting 'adjusted' to taking care of w116.. i still find it hard sometimes to click ... and it gets me down sometimes because im not as effective 'talker' as some people... or i don't have very much of the same 'interest' as some of my friends which i slowly realise.. but i believe passion can be brewed (like a tea). Xiuwen showed me that when she talk to Philips (a very interesting acquintance we always meet in church) in a very patient manner and kind manner. i think it can be slowly acquired.. at least that's how it'll work for me. i dun get very interested in 'new topics' like suddenly. takes time.. takes realisation ... takes erm... omph!




being a people person. a leader. is really a choice. whether ya willing to care for pple. that's leadership 101.



sigh i miss Elaine ... pls faster come back :(

Last day..

- backdated post on last day @ Citibank 24 March 09 -




there was a time...

where office is like a circus.

where every lone ranger can find companions and a family of friends. and dogs lions and caerebeas co-exist in blissful harmony..

there was never a dull time :) look at her desk!

Of coure there are ugly days... we argue and fight with papers and pens.

but .. i miss this group of pple man :)

we can be honest on anything under de sun.. :)

and im one of the only (few) male colleague ard ... haha


take care everyone :)

---

& ... (last but not least)

Thank you ! :)

Thanks for the card! and the shirt and the little deco toy! i like all of it.. esp the card. like it alot.. but most importantly .. as priceless as it can be, thanks for the friendship in citibank. i think having working tog and chilling tog in e workplace is the best working experience i had! well my job literally dun offer any excitement.. so the esctasy only comes from my 'partners in crime' in work! hehe... i started in citi as a fearful kid. brought to work by a friend.. tried not to get intro trouble.. tried to mix around in the crowd (which is filled with girls) ... but eventually i had lots of fun making friends.. eating out with them.. listening to all e complains... getting pissed by e way our 'boss' do things... getting hyped by every holiday i have... getting to move around to a new premise .. working under a great new boss ...cook our own food while working OT ... sleepin in toilet when i really cant take it (yes i confess!) ... and play little games while working when our boss aint looking. we do really crazy stuffs! remember once back in our old office in capital square ... me and ahnu played de 'catch de sweet in the air with ya mouth' game .. and i hear the girls gossip crazy stuff in office...

here is one random video of me trying to intro a game 'fuzzy wuzzy' in office and de girls trying to distrub me with a 'disturbing' rumour [ only video i have left =( ]

they are funny pple rite.. hai

thanks for making my life really great in citibank! hope in future .. our paths do cross... and we'll all be millionares by then.. woohoo :D

Dinner at Cartel

.. Monday 16 March ..
.. Evening..
.. 7pm ..

We had dinner at Cafe Cartel today! food ain't that great. everyone don't seem to like the food. but i pretty liek the lagsana that i ate. small portion but appetising! I love tomato based food! it makes me estatic! :) hehe.

we met up to discuss abt cg stuff. and it's been a great meeting. not really cos of the food cos most of 'em din enjoy .. but i think it's great we have time to pour our hearts out abt cg and share our burdens with each other..

hmm...

In essence... i am really thankful for all e encouragement given to me by all of ya! :) i will do my best to do what i need to do :)

House visit

I miss visiting people's house!!


i mean.. being in a house is different from being any other place. it's more homey, more warmth... more fun! Last Sunday went My and Nhut's humble little house and had alittle 'Kbox session' They don't have alot of a new songs... but they certainly have a good hospitality! :) haha ..


here's what we did ..

shella tries feed me finger. but finger smelly. i open mouth to breath fresh air. ha.

Guess what the letter M stands for? Shella always remind me this every meeting..



Brotherss

Brothers again..

Chong likes his legs..

Chong needs a hug ...

We love rabbbits. we love rabbits! rabbit ear pose!

QY and YJ dominate the stage.

Our 'favourite' songs? Ghostbusters!, Yellow Bird, 25 minutes, Yesterday, etc... and lots of Cheena songs and Vietnam songs.

BTW our Vietnamese guest can really sing! My's voice is fantastic!

Hope we can have more of this sessions! :)

awhile (continued)

thank God for so much things that happen in my life! :)



well haven been updating much. dun feel like blogging much recently. have so much things running in my mind. but don't know where to began or pen it down.



well most of the time.. i just feel like taking a day's break. going out to the sun. and lay there. i mean yes lay there like nobody's business. laziness amplified and exemplified. woohoo. my lovely girl will like tat very much.



sometimes my thots race faster than my heart... and before i know it ... i feel like my mind and my heart at 2 different places at times! you know that feeling is creepy. it's like ya head is in a fish bowl and ya walking on dry land.



that's how i feel the last few days man. But u noe.. i'm thankful that God's grace has been substaining me well. i feel tired.. but not that tired to say ... i cant do it. i feel stretched but not so stretched that i'll tear. i feel im on a high frequency-bumpy roller-coaster. yet i feel at some point i could just press the button and everything stops. .

and it hangs there...

the moment i had there is a moment i feels its a God moment. it's a moment when i say God ya there.... could u help eme pick things up. i cant talk well to my colleagues cos they are all girsl.. could ya help me express well? i couldn't lead very well in my r/n with a powerful woman but could hw You would do so? i couldn't carry the mantle that you had formerly gave my friend and leader.. could you empower me?

i couldn't. could you ?

Love isn't abt how well you can give all the time to people. to everything ard u. love is you knowing God takes care of you like how he takes care of the sparrow. not a feather will fall w/o his knowledge. every atom in u vibrates and resonates his love. the love he created and protected. Insured for a life-time with his Son.



i am because He is.

Elaine's Farewell

Keep (Guard) your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.

- Pro 4:23


In the last few days... things were alittle topsy turvy for me..


I felt really low in life. It's like the devil had plan it all up. I was feeling pretty alright the whole day. Wanted to send Elaine off 'gloriously'! without too much 'boo-hoos' and 'sniffings arnd. But it turns out someone down there had plan something for me that day.



First, we met up at popeyes as a group earlier. I felt alittle different.. and unnatural being there. And actually, i've got this feeling too at a farewell lunch with Elaine and her ex-colleagues. It's like a fish out of water feeling. But very soon after, that feeling 'evolved' abd i became negative and pessismistic over remarks by my friends. It really sucks to feel this way.



Then as we took pictures and say farewell... i suddenly felt very incompetent to take over the responsibility of taking care of cell group. Became very self-aware of my weaknesses .. (as if it's the only thing on earth i have and im doomed to die with it) and seriously ... the thoughts are heart-piercing. Eventually i suppress everything and there and then (which i eventually realise).. i just reformed my emotional wall. Defences were up. I became shutdown in order to stop these hurts. It took quite a toll in my communication. and the way i behave the next few days. And with the upcoming Valentine's day.. it feels like i will never do a enjoy and get something nice for Mavis. All these thoughts really crushes ya spirit. So really it's important to examine ya thoughts before it becomes full-blown , ravaging and out of control!







So Thank God. Guard ya heart. For out of it flows... the issue of life.

---

I really miss Elaine. Without her shelter ... it feels naked. That's how Mavis tried to explain what i am going through. but it's alright! everything will work out and she'll be back soon! And our cg will have multiplied with 40 over members by then! yeeha

Faith. Forsaking All I Trust Him.

im really inspired today in leaders meet. Pastor CK really spoke into my heart. :) cheer up if ya going through a very long season of dryness! there's a silver lining in every cloud.


trust. will share more..

Farewell..

i think guys are not very good with goodbyes..


i can see it in their eyes.


but yea like ben said ..


she'll be back soon...


sigh won't be able to meet her up for lunch or share with her abt work and life as often


but thank God she is able to pursue a dream to study overseas.


it's really amazing seeing her dream come to fruit-ion.


she spoke of it. then she wants it. and now she's got it.


it's amazing how her dream came to past so fast.


will miss you Elaine :) thanks for pastoring us and making us ya no.1 everytime.


ya our no.1 too!




rest of w116. lets rally ourselves and do her proud.

---

on a seprate note .. after svc had a reunions dinner with ushers. well i din especially say good bye.. boo hoo hoo to them cos i rather leave quietly and happily. but im quite happy to see how the ushers whom i work with or mentored have both risen up to the occassion and maturity. it's really nice to see people grow and take lead. :) their enthusiasm inspires me many times! well i hope my (ex)team will really grow under you boon xiong! and pengru and the rest of the helpers. ya really people with an awesome. spread ya fire of serving arnd :)

oh yea.. i had a good lor hei with them! hehe.

tmr's prayer meeting! wooo it's going to be sooooo fun!

My very 1st Sermon on .....

Friendship

It took me like 3 nights to prepare this. The 1st 2 nights i was really brain-dead. After work, after school ... my brain-juice is almost sucked dry... urgh. But thank God He sent many angels and inspirations down and thereby i can share my conviction and type out a message. Well the thing about preparing a message is ... if it doesn't impact or touch you... you cant possibly expect it to touch others. So i cant really share something that is not birth off from God's revelation! So in preparing this ... i really realise the importance of having 1stly) Good REST! A Healthy rested mind is position to received revelations! 2ndly) To plug into the WORD. Deep in. I cant say anything out of my own knowledge. Because head-knowledge is just factual dead words. But a life-changing Word. A Rhema word. is what that really strikes your heart and your mind like a ligtning! 3rdly) Pray up. when ya battery is flat. there is only one thing to do. charge it la! so prayer charges ya spiritual life... it opens up the channel when God's words can travel down on a heavenly "telephone life" into ya spirit man.




ok wanan post my sermon here in remembrance!


Matt 22:37-40


In the 2 great commandments that is mentioned in the bible, we are especially called ... or i should say commanded to love God wholeheartedly and love people fervently!

Today we;ll just look at loving people!

The bible calls "christians" as a family with other believers. When we accept Christ, we are no longer wild "unadopted" children. (that's when you get the song no more running wild .... from our church song..) We came with our baggage of 'needs', 'concerns' and 'imperfection'. But it's in this family we learn and we forge strong support in our lives.



Eph 2:19 (TLB):
You are members of God's very own family, citizens of God's country and you belong in God's household with every other Christians

As you can see we all belong to part of God's family. In church, we've learn to make new friends and step out of our comfort zone to know people

Personally, I am not a very sociable person when i first came to church. In fact, I'm very close up in nature. I have many emotional walls around my heart. Often, I will appear friendly but i d0 not dare to show who i really am inside.

Coming to church, i am introduce to a family of friends who applied the caring system. I was slowly but surely touched by their sincerity and concern. In church, I was also slowly taught to step out of my circumstance/my past to learn to fellowship. It has helped me tremendously to overcome my low self-esteem... and find my identity in Christ.

So this year, i hope all of us can start the year by building strong bonds of friendship here! Here i am going to share with you 3 'C's to build friendship.


1) Communicate
a) The best way to communicate is to be present!
Communication calls for an availing of self to the people.

Matt 9:36 :
But when He saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd

Just a verse before Matt 9:35 - Jesus was already moving around performing miracles and healing the sick!

Jesus had a mission in life. That is to save the world. However, He never fails to minger with the crowd, teach them and meet their needs. No matter how big His mission or purpose was, He was there to meet their needs. He was there for them.


b) Learn to build conversations
Find a common interest or topic to discuss. Go a step further to find out a person's interest. To make communication flow, we can learn to find topics we can agree upon. Usually friends will find the conversation enjoyable if the topics are agreed or affirmed by both parties


c) Listening to your friend
Listen with your heart. When a person mentions about a subject, don't just listen to it on the surface. Get to the root of the issue by finding out more. At the same time be sensitive to the person's character and background.


As a general rule of the thumb. listen more. talk less. Because God gave us 2 ears and a mouth.


Communication is the key to every relationship.


2) Connection
a) The 5 Language of love of a person are as follow:
- Words of affirmation ( encourage )
- Acts of Service ( go the extra mile)
- Gifts ( makes people happy )
- Physical touch ( Pat on the back. another form of strong affrimation)
- Quality time ( Quality doesn't equate to quantity. QT is the time spent that draws your friendship closer. )


To enhance friendships, it's important to take note of a person's love language. Different people have different needs. Knowing the love language helps to feed the love tank of a person. This is a simple way to meet the needs of a person.




3) Communion

When we pray, doors are opened.
In Genesis 1, before the earth is formed .. the Holy Spirit hovered around the face of the earth.

When we pray, the Holy Spirit hovers around the person as well the relationship. It becomes easier for us to engage in the person in a relationship.

As much as possible, we can also learn to pray with the person. Praying opens the eyes of unbelievers to the reality of God!




Ecc 4:10-12
If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.



In a Cross, the vertical beam is our relationship with God. The horizontal beam is our relationship with Men. God wants us to know our life is a journey to be Christ-like. There are times where friends can prick us the wrong-way. But just as how iron sharpens iron, every single relationship we hold is God's way of helping us improve our character!

This year let's build strong friendship in our cell group! Before we can start on integrating friends.. let's learn to apply the caring system to touch the lives of our friends.! :)

Food for thought after sermon ( short 2-3 mins reflection and sharing )

1) Who is the most faithful or trustworthy friend you have had? Have any friends been unfaithful or untrustworthy ?

2) Has a past relationship or failure bothered you? Has it kept you from trying again ?

3) Can you name 3 friends or potential friends who encourage and help your faith in God? What can you do to pursue those friendships ?

[ questions adapted from Strong Men in tough times - on chapter 'My Brother's Keep' ]

Change.

Whether you're in usher ministry or in cell group. We're still part of the body of Christ.

- by Yong Hui,my mentor from G16UM (paraphrased by me)

I like this quote! Yonghui always reminded me we are always a body .. a family and we compliment one another in church. :) and it makes me feel no matter which ministry i wanna excell and grow, we're still ultimately serving God and one another. there is a always a special place for everyone of us to be in to fulfill our role in the kingdom of God.



This will be the official day i will be switching from usher to cell group! Time pass so fast... and Elaine's also leaving soon. Indeed the change seems so rapid all of a sudden!


But well ... i feel it's always a new adventure in every chapter! And being in usher ministry for about 5 years, i'm really thankful for all the things i learn and the friends i make. I feel the best thing about a ministry is the connection you make, the person the ministry makes you to be and most importantly friendship. Took a long time to understand fully the meaning of bonds in a ministry. Indeed like what Pastor Kong shared today : relationship precedes ministry!



Thank you everyone from um! :) all of ya rock socks!! continue to shine! Unified Servants who Honour and Exhalt the Reign of God! :)

Love talk

Heard this from Friday's edition of living room at 93.8live


The gist of it all:


When romantic love ends, there is where true love begins. When all the romance fades.. the love takes into a new level of maturity where true effort of loving begins. The fruits start blossoming here.



To maintain a relationship, always think of doing what's best for the relationship, for the marriage.




Relationship does one great thing in your life : it makes you a better person! [ you'll see love, kindness, patience, and other rare to see virtues ].



Love like a R.O.C.K.S.T.A.R.


For Men, women need-

Routinely contact- spend frequent times with her. listen to her.

Open your heart and mind- say/do positive things to her. she'll feel lifted.

Contact- stay connected in thinking. Touch. Didn't catch much on air

Keep it positive- understand women usually complain for attention. women usually connect to each other this way. Men sees complain as their failure to effectively protect her. (men is built in this way). keep the conversation positive.


For ladies, men need:

Sensuality- Oxytocin rush. check more details here. Didn't catch much on air.

Touch- amazingly men needs 2-3x as more touch than guys according to survey. e.g. A pat on the back... a hug.


Appreciation - maintains relationship for both parties. Appreciation affirms his role as a care-taker, leader and protector of the family.


Respect- Men are creatures of routine. They perform repeated habits usually and are more resistant to changes. Understanding and respect for their habits. Didn't catch much on air =p





for husbands and wifes, the marriage is substain not by a great holiday or an event. But by the way hundreds and thousands of things you do for each other. the commitment to each other is more important than the romance.


By Doctor Love Pat.




well i find some points really true for men and ladies. yours to ponder..

Maximized Manhood

The strenth of a man is in his moral fibre.



Strenth is always proven by resistence.


A man's inner strength determines his ability to withstand temptations, accusations, persecutions, seductions, lies and other pressures that work to enervate. He must have the strength to stand against wrong and for right.



Orange tree produces oranges, oysters produce pearls ... Men - produce Manhood.


Men of God do the will of God not because of external, legal motivations but because of an inward, spiritual desire created by God Himself



World is rapidly changing. Moral absolutes are replace by situation ethics, right/wrong erased by the politically correct, sedition accepted as the norm for change. people return to ancient ages by "walling" themselves in to ward of invaders. Life becomes a life that pleases self.

There was a generation of Esthers. Now is a time for Daniels. (personal interpretation: Women are generally spoke of as prayer intercessors for nations. But now in the society we have, we need more Daniels. with unashamed boldness , uncommon standard, immeasurable blessing, unlimited influence, unhindered persistence, unblemished faith, unearthly protection and unusual test.

Men without an organized system of thought will always be at the mercy of men (or women) who have one.



Men must awaken themselves to the urgent need to study, restore our love for truth and renew our reverence for God's word.



Great Men discipline themselves to practise (their skill).



The man is more than the message. The message is credible because the man is.



Heroes are men who act in a moment of time on a need greater than self


God will make any willing male into a real man.



[adapted from Strong Men in Tough Times - Edwin Louis Cole, author of best-selling maximised manhood and one of the few pioneer and advocate of manhood movement]




Dear God, please make me more like Daniel and King David in the bible. Where the world expects selfishness.. we give self-lessness. Where the world look upon men in modern times differently, you can use me and the willing men out there to be heroes and leaders of faith. Give me the ability to remember and develop these Godly hadbits. When the going gets tough, Lord i will draw strength from You. I am a Man by choice.

back of my mind..

it's been awhile since i blog..



lately i've been feelin alittle uptight.. getting caught in the motion of events and things arnd me...



everything is moving so fast .. Elaine's leaving... need to handover usher stuffs... my exams are coming... im not sure if i can make it for S.O.T. and finance...



but Rom8:28 came in really handy when Elaine sms me abt another issue we are praying for... and i think it's a universal verse that covers me and the people i care about.




all things will work together for the good ofthose who love God ... and are called according to His purpose!




so no matter what... it's a matter of trust. :) everything will be alright.