reflections

its so funny. stepping from one foundation to another foundation. a stepping stone to another stepping stone. everything in life seems to be a breeze once. but after i found a greater cause... things really changed. (and yea it's for the better of cos)



many times i feel angry with God. i am an angry man. i am angry with alot of things sometimes. pls allow me to be humane for this post. if not u can just click the 'x' button at the top right hand side of screen.


i feel angry with God. earlier this week... i felt resentful to God for so many things. like i feel inpatient with colleagues. sometimes i feel that my love life wasn't as much as i expect it to be. i feel i am not fit to be a leader of any sort. i have no skills. i heard that i have no good humour. i am too long-winded. i cant engage new frens.there are so many things in life that tells me .. i shouldn't be here.

but yet i am here. i am doing what i need to do. serving what i need to serve. but most importantly .. building my life and character. and learning to rely more and more on Jesus. i feel fustrated when i dun see results. i was betrayed sometimes by frens. i feel disappointed when frens i knew for long behave so 'different'. it's like i never knew them anymore.


Pastor Kong shared something that lifted me up. it's ok to be human. that's also precisely we need God. we just have to continue to make the right decisions .. meditate or ponder abt positive - edifying words that encourages.. rather than condemns. love rather than hate.


as i went deeper with you. the hole that i dug seems more pitch black then before. it seems really yucky. but i know soon... i can see the real jewels and seeds of great great stuff being driven deep in that soil. and out of it will come all my favourite fruits of love.. peace.. joy.. longsuffering... kindness.. goodness.. simply just nice fruits.


i said this today to my bs student.
sow a thot, reap an act
sow an act, reap a habit
sow a habit, reap a character
sow a character, reap a destiny.

world-shakers and history makers aren't forged overnight. our faith is perfected thru fire and flames. patience.