We move again...

[ mood : ]




Cheryl had a conference call today to tell us we will be under another cgl again. Well it is cool in a certain sense since we get to meet new people. She assure us she is a very powerful and annointed leader ... who is like Pastor's very own right hand woman. She is successful both in her career and her spiritual walk.... and she will soon be a mother-to-be :).



Well, years ago i use to struggle with the fact that as i change cg ... i will lose contact with people i hang about most ... but then again that is life. You social circle changes constantly ... but only a selected few will remain inside as your close ones.



As i thought about it ... i suddenly remembered about the past few weeks ...and i think i understand a little of what's in my mind now. And probably a good thing too since this helps me better plan my steps in life. In the past few weeks , i struggled alot with myself. And my leaders kept on telling me that i am 21 and i need to be mature. My true value lies in God. I must have confidence in myself. That's good because that is all true..... But i never ever shared with them about my struggle with relationships .... probably because i am already quite shutdown to people around me. i think i really am.



One thing about relationship is that there has to be communication and ... well of course love. Tough love or not ... but there must be a minimal treshold amount of care and flow. I don't think that is evident since communication is alittle hard for me and the youths in the cg due to the age gap. Nevertheless i perservered on ... but somehow i don't think my voice fit in any discussion. It's quite depressing.



Sigh ... i think i should bury the past but thinking about this .... if after all this years .... this are the kind of friends that i had .... i guess i need either to do a character makeover ... or change a large part of my social circle. As i get into a new cg... i do hope i make some good friends there.



Change is the only constant in life.