I'm quite tired now -_-. Woke up early to do some work and before i know it ... i will be going out soon. Really have to pray for strength since i will be ushering again after a long while. I will be a normal usher again this time. I do hope i am able to relate back to my fellow ushers again. Holy spirit please guide me...
Today's PDL is quite good. It talks about viewing life from God's perspective. The way we see our lives shape our lives. Rick mentions about how we see our life and our understanding of our life.
I will come home later to blog more :) i need to prepare myself for my day later sooooooo ..... i shall think about it more later.
I am back home from church!! Survived the blackout and now i shall continue......
Before pondering about the PDL message, i want to share about today.
Ushering was pretty good today. Though i tend to forget some little details during my ushering ... i thank God that he is able to help me flow and really usher into people to the zone. It wasn't easy since i had quite abit of sore throat and can't yell too loud. I think the Holy spirit really helped me alot as i usher today. I manage to fufill my role pretty well today. I did share alittle to my Section IC about what happened to me the past few weeks too. She encourage me to find that special friend(s) that i can connect personally to b'cos as humans we need support. I hope i find them soon.
Fellowship with the new w143 wasn't very fruitful on my part. Many people asked me why i was so quiet or why i look so sad. And sometimes i just simply reply i have nothing to say... or i will say the right things at the right time. I wonder if it's ok.. I know the importance of fellowship and the different communication level to build up our relationships... but somehow, i am not keen to talk to my friends in w143 anymore. I mean if it's just one memeber or so .... i feel alittle more at ease to talk freely. But together in the big group.... i don't know. i can't talk to them. And somehow i also do not want to try any more. I do wonder if i can ever connect with them again. It feels different this time. Maybe i am getting old on them. Maybe i am a lousy communicator. But enough negativity.... i shall try. I don't want to upset them but sometimes i feel its best that i am not with them. To me, its kinda hard to talk to anyone in church anymore. But nevertheless, i will try.
In PDL 5, Rick brings us into the attention of our real deal on earth. Rick gets me to ponder about my life metaphor - the image of what i make life to be. I have never thought of such funny things before... hmm maybe when i was still a kid? and this according to him determines my expectations, my values, my relationships, my goals and priorities. I would like to think of life as a long long jouney of a small windy paths to a big big castle. and there will be storms, winds, and of course many other easier paths with many different interesting people in each paths. Kind of like a fairy tale story if you ask me. As a kid, i like to imagine myself in alot of such stories (with all the bad guys inside. It is childish in a sense... but i feel most creative in that period. Its like the sky is the limit. Now these dreams can be so easily smashed by the hard truths in reality. But the worthy persistent ones might birth something new .. :)
ok enough of my rambling... Rick cuts in straight with some hard truths. In Romans 12:2, we are asked to be renewed in our minds to have heavenly standards. And not the earthly ones. And in this life, God is actually putting all of us into a test. Life is a test (1st biblical metaphor) of our character, faith, obedience, steadfastness through the trials and tribulations. It certainly did not went quite well with me. In fact there are times in the journey which i point my finger to God in anger and fustration over what's happening in my life. I couldn't make sense of it. I don't want to go through it. I think it is crazy to follow through when many people around me have much happier lives that they embrace. And then bitterness enter my life. There will be times God 'shook' me up. There will be times God just remain silent (as He did to King Hezekiah 2 Chr 32:31). Ms Elaine, my current temporary CGL said that God gives 3 possible responses to our prayers ... Yes, No or wait. And her experience tells her that He will only appear at the right time ... at the point where she really needs him in her life. That is the point where she will knows that it is God that makes it possible. I didn't know about that... i mean i know he works at the right time. But at the crucial point.... It does make alittle sense.
Rick wants me to know that when i really understand this truth, i will know that every little single event has impact in my life. Everyday is important and every moment can be a unseen opportunity. In every test, God will ensure that His grace is sufficient. I still struggle to live that out in my life. I need to get closer to God.
Life on earth is also a trust. (the 2nd biblical metaphor). A trust of responsibilities. I know that God has made us all stewards of this world. Ever since the time of Adam and Eve, we are expected to govern and manage the things of this world. 1 Cor 4:2 (NCV) has a striking point. It says those who are trusted with something valuable must show that they are worthy of that trust. I suddenly realise an important truth. How many of us think it is a priveledge to born in Singapore in this generation ? Firstly, we experience peace here. 50 years ago, Singapore was still a war-torn country. And even today, there are still nations struggling with uncertainity and apprehension of what tomorrow may bring. Isn't it good that we have no such worries here? Second, we are a prosperous nation! We have good edu system, good (and highly paid) government, a good military and police force within our country.... etc.. We have such luxuries even in such a small nation. Thridly, we are free to practise our faith. I remembered those tearing Chinese people who have to pay a price for believing in God. They have to pay a price for their faith. The persecution around them can be very discouraging. But they are really fervant lovers of God. Teens live with suicidal thoughts. Adults worrying about the future... and as chrisitans here, we have the peace of God and the ease to spread the gospel. Entrusted with all this goodness... i realise we are expected to these blessings to the unchurched and unsaved around us. And this luxuries are not there forever. We are expected to manage and treasure our assets well. and one dat Matt 25:21 will come to past. Well done good and faithful servant ..... ...
We can share our Master's joy.
point to ponder: Life is a test and trust.
Luke 16:10a (NLT) "Unless you are faith in small matters, you won't be faithful in large ones."
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