Tuesday, April 10, 2007

wad's wrong.

[ mood : ]



I am quite confuse and sad now. My granny asked me again today about what i wanna do. I really don't know. The way she says .... it fustrates me. and a part of me ... i don't know is still shut down i think. I am afraid to tell her what i want to do. It's her nature to nag.... to reprimand me to do the things she wants me to do. She will nag about almost everything ... from sleeping late ... to my academics. to me going out too often. Well i know. I know her intentions are good. But somehow it puts me off real bad. I don't know why but i find it hard to converse with her. Maybe it's her nagging ? Maybe is her selfish desires or her uncaring attitude to me in the past? I really don't know. But whenever people ask me about what i want to do ... i cringe. What can i do ? What should i do? What's the next best move ? I don't know..... i really don't know. i am just afraid...





i saw wen today unexpectedly in the National Library @ bugis. I don't really feel like fellowshipping with her but well, i know i got to start building up the discipline of fellowshipping despite my uneasiness.

It was drizzling and wen is feeling cold. So we departed from the library and we went to bugis Junction to chat before wen meets up kun. Wen asked much about me and prod alittle into my life. I guess she knows pretty much about what's happening in me without me telling her. Well she told me i can always look for her to chat and share the problem.

i am lost again. i dunno how to share. i dunno hw to. i am scared of them ... or am i not? i dunno.


something's wrong wif me. urgh.

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