Befoe that .. I got a small gigantic testimony to share ( small because its a small area of my life .. but gigantic because its a big work God did in my life !)
Share with u a secret... i sometimes doze off in office.
something like this..
LOL
ok its not really like that in office but ... sometimes due to inadequate rest... my head can really sway up and down as i work. and i will try lots of ways ... like pinching myself ... drink warm water ( by far the most effective) or wash up in toilet.
This week i was especially 'sleepy'. I will tell my bunch of office mates i am meditating when they caught me in e act.. lol. But well i just wanna thank God that today... after a good prayer i had really good God-given strength. I dun really feel much different. But i have energy! I mean i can conquer the world man! I really thank God for this strength! :)
ok back to the subject... i was leading praise ... and for the 1st time worship.
honestly i think i did more horrible than any of my other praise and worship leadings. :( and during the deep worship... i cant transpose the key given to me on de spot. So Elaine was really quite fustrated with me, she took the guitar away from me and she began leading. I won't rather on the rest of the details ... but serving as a Stage 1 / 2 usher taught me something about responsibility. Anything that is within yr care and control is your responsibility. If you are a stage usher... anything that happens on stage is your responsibility. Similary if the worship crumples in our cg, it lies heavily with me as a guitarist and worship leader.
So ... I was feeling alittle fustrated at first. I was thinking 'God! ... why is it this is not working right ? Why the flow seems alittle messy' ... and after quite some time into the 2nd song of worship (led by my CGL this time) .. i was ministered more personally. In worship, it was never about us. Its all about God. Its all about you Jesus. And it suddenly dawned on me that ... this was what i want so badly in the past! And even though times changed ... the passion to sing about Him stays the same. Honestly ... i seldom worship the way i used to. But i remember that as i worship... even if i don't feel his tangible touch... i'll continue to give him the glory and honour. Because in worship.. its never about us. Its all about him.
I told Elaine, and la that i was really humbled today. God did grant me the desire of my heart -to lead worship .. tho it isn't exactly how i imagine or want it to be. But it doesn't matter. Because at the end of the day... if my worship touch God, that's all that really counts. I may not feel very happy. But i really appreciate him for doing so much in my life. Its an honor to serve God my friends. Its a big honor. In whatever small positions we serve in, its always about Him. Its all about you Jesus.
The sacrifices you want is a broken spirit. A broken and contrite
heart. - These, O God, You will not despise.
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