And after the BS lessons, the books and the infilling of God's word in my life... suddenly there seems to be a light upon my path.
God has spoken many times in my life... but it was a pity i did not treasure those times i spent with him. He has a great vision for me ... and probably the mantle might have been given to another faithful one. However, i know he always has plans for every single one of us. A calling. And even as i try to draw close to him.... i get to understand that most of the time i will not be able to feel God's presence. If it God is so real, and if he long to have such a communion with us ... why is it so hard to seek God. Qi Hui told me last week that she had a revelation of that during our zone prayer meeting. Well the revelation she had is amazing. She mentioned that to know God more, just like knowing any ordinary friend ... you'll need to spend more time ... more effort ... sometimes necessary sacrifices to understand that person well. This in turn indirectly shows how much you value him/her. Qi hui has showed me this before. I on the other hand run from the ones i treasure before. Can't face them. The devil really did his job.
But now, in another sense i get to know God so so much better this week. This is i must say a 50% head-knowledge and a 50% revelation. I believe i still do not have a full revelation of what God is doing or showing me in my life. I realise that in all that emptiness i have within me .... my longing for some infilling of substance has drawn me away and to God. When his presence is there, i praise Him and thank Him .. and rejoice in that atmosphere. But when i could not feel his presence ... or do not feel like engaging it ... my spirit hungers less ... and the desires of my flesh increases. Its a struggle and when Bro Jeremy talk about it in BS, i begin to see a clear reflection of my attitude and my response towards God. God wants me to fellowship with him intimately. And He wants to draw me so close to him. Though many times i cannot feel him there... when i seek, i cannot find. "Where are you".... i always asked. Then i learned he was just right that at that time. I couldn't see Him. Or feel Him. But he is there. And the reason is because there are still areas in my life God has to deal with before we can commune closely. I will have to follow closely his lead...
Now, I want to seek God for who He is. Not just what He can do. The Beattitudes are really a description of the people of Heaven. And to be like one .... i need to start learning it well from my Teacher. HS..
In Christ, I am a new creature. I will put on my New man and rejoice with all the great exchanges Jesus paid for me.
Strip yourselves of your former nature [put off and discard your old unrenewed self] which characterized your previous manner of life and becomes corrupt through lusts and desires that spring from delusion. And be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude], And put on the new nature (the regenerate self) created in God's image, [Godlike] in true righteousness and holiness.
Eph 4 : 22-24.
No comments:
Post a Comment