i feel refreshed today after a good prayer wif cell group.
i have been pondering about the sermon of Mounts message and my late readings by John Bevere ... and of course my BS lessons. About my lifestyle .. and attitude.... i just cant develop that happy healthy me again. I know God is working very much on my inside now .. and that's why he brought me to where i was. And even though there are times i neglected him, he still calls out to me in very different ways. Like through books... through the things i do... (they would just suddenly feel meaningless). He wants my attention.... but on my part ... i will sometimes just do the things i want to do.
How do i die to myself everyday? How do i praise God even at my most unconvenient time? This is like Basic Christianity 101. This is what probably what David calls sacrifice of praise. I want to die to my old self ... and develop that hunger again. For that special secret mana he reserve for those who seeks him earnestly...
I realise something on Saturday service on God's part in our relationship. B. Jeremy has said that God has done everything possible for Him to gain us back.. Everything. And what i don't realise till recently is that the power of the cross is still continuously at work ... even up till today. The sanctifying ... the breaking of self ... its not me. I can't do anything about this sin .... but only one ... that is to choose to not sin. And i realise the power of sin weakens when we yield more to God. The bible says we cannot serve two masters ... and it's either Him or the principalities of this world. And yet unknowingly .... Jesus continues to help us fight this fight. And yea the battle is won long ago..... and this struggle i have.... we have.... it is nothing as long as we dun give in.
God, help me oh lord. I have pride in my life. I know it. And together with it comes with these insecurities ... this fear .... this loneliness. I yearn for love. for friendship. For something that can satisfy my soul. But yet i found none. And when all is finally silenced in my life... i found yr voice calling me. I have changed O Lord. I have experienced some of the pleasures of this world. And i give thanks for the legitimate ones you gave. But Lord i know that i truly belong to you ... and i pray that i will be closer to you ... every single day. Help me God..... i know its not by might nor power ... but by your spirit o Lord. I need you....
No comments:
Post a Comment