enlightened.

today our cgl shared with her the 'long- burdens of our cg. its been there for awhile. we've been like this for awhile. and yea we've come up with plans ... we strategise .. we reasoned but its not doing so good either. our cg ain't growin and its kinda fustrating.



ive been thinking abt different plans as my cgl speaks. but its not worth just making plans and moving ahead with jus mypuny 'human-effort-like' attempts. pro16:9 says i gotta learn to walk wif my best friend high up there and move tog with Him. and thru this period .. i feel sometimes like Jacob from the bible.. he relied on his own strength alot den God has to remind him through a dislocated hip-bone.. that you've gotta trust in me.



sometimes i ask God why am i still like this. why do i still have de same flaws i had weeks ago... months ago or even years ago. but i think this flaws are God's way of saying ... " when ya weak.. I am strong. and therefore u can be strong.... " I feel its really a wonderful thing to rest on the arms of a mighty God.


sorry if im preachy here but i feel quite fustrated over some things in my life. i prayed over and over but it aint moving. i really want to be more effective person. to be able to be there for people. not to be perfect .. but at least a person that shines. :)

despite all my failings... i will still be there for my friends. and even more for my family now. i gotta breakthru. i must. and i will. you will be there to see me won't ya :) watch me shine Dad!