Upset.

i dun usually like to pose negative posts. because after so much bible study lessons ... i know in my heart a Christian is set out to live a victorious life. It may not be a perfect life .... and it may be filled with many sad moments... but that's always a level of faith ... of hope pushing the heroes of faith on.... that's where i am going to be too.



I am upset over myself. That i am still a weak communicator. That i can still be rude to my grandma when she says something silly about me or reprimand me about something she has no understanding about. where is the love in me? Where is the patience when i stay around with friends who are demanding in their ways ... and insensitive to your feelings.



I know the answers to all this. But God ... i really want to change. i am depressed at how helpless i am to make an impact to the world.... or at a smaller scale ... fellowship well with my old cliches. Am i so bad with words?


God help me to be a more loving person... and a person with a stronger heart. A bigger me.

Throwing Stars

I really like Ps Tan's message yesterday. Its about throwing stars ... and making a difference in the lives of others. The whole world revolved around itself. So few people out there .. in the working world spend enough time ... to care... to share and to appreciate. And i think yesterday pastor really hit it home into our hearts the message of living a live as Christians. It inspired me a lot. Especially the drama that shows how a patient (with much effort put in... not an initial gift of HS) Christian makes a new friend out of a demanding strict superior. Something i lack in all this while. Long-suffering , patience ... and perhaps love.




But Ps did share something easy that we can all do. That's to be a star thrower and make an impact to a star ... a life one at a time. Its about starting small.... doing just something simple and kind to another person. one at a time.




Today went for my first Jams Church help-out. Well its not really my first experience as i have dealt with mentally challenged people before during my army days ... at least twice bah. Seeing their enthusiasm when they meet people, and how simple little things excite them really makes me happy. I dunno but even though they might not preach the gospel ... or share a explicit message about life and its meaning... their lives reflect it all. That is simple love. Simple care. Simple touch.


Well the day pass not with any interesting occurrence. For starters .. as i greet some of them ... that was this heart-warming chap that come over me and hug and kiss me twice.... i was never kiss before my entire life by a stranger -__- .... but well i show some love. ( never kiss back ) .. just smiled.



and well that's this guy who played wrestling with me when i shake his hand.... and well he's really big size for one ... and for two... i really dunno what to do at that point. Thank God another Jams teacher came over and help me off .... he told me not to encourage him cos he likes to pick on fights wif others. man wrestler in-the-making-in-jams. dun pray pray.


and then that's another guy ... who very cutely hold my hand for a long time. until the teacher says i should let go cos he likes to cling on my hand.... aw.



Anyway .. they are really a lovely bunch of lovely people. they are prove of people who knows how to love and be loved ... despite their disabilities.





I just wanna thank God for me being me. Whatever i become ... i must be an instrument to bring love peace and hope to others :) amen.

Thanks

8 October was just days ago.



But yet i am thankful for the abundant blessings i receive ... which includes .




. Timberland wallet ( totally cool! )


. Domanchi shirt ( very hot! )


. cardigan with matching blinky shirt. ( thx for the effort. its funny hw it was put tog. )


. 'most wanted' shirt ( no idea im wanted for wad? lol )


. 3 Different types of bday cakes on sep occasions. ( luv cakes ^^ )


. Treats to meals by friends n releatives ( outta job. but not outta friends. fellowship to me is bettar den gifts. really like it)


. ang pows ( still haven open up leh.. lol )


. nice bday card from cg. ( really cute )


. personally designed image-card from dear fren. ( really sweet )


. a simple day of attention via smses. ( thx for the 5-cent worth of thot )



and the best part of it all.




The best gift God has given me : a group of lovely friends and family.





Spent a simple day at cousin's house. Well i remembered morning was alittle unpleasant because of some family lectures which i often get these days..... but im thankful that people are out there watching over me. they may not sound very nice sometimes... but their heart is so full of love and concern. at times i fail to see that. but tinking back thru.... the harshest people in your life are actually the people that grows you the most. like back at army. like back in school. at home.



thank God for your love so evident in my life.



Bringing it all back to the present... i wanna accomplish what i set out to do this year. and of course wif a few more added goals...


1) Bring Family closer together. ( not even close in fulfillin it. much to work on )

2) bring myself closer to God. ( something im inconsistent in. much to work on too )

3) being the best guitarist and WL out there ( im improving... but still not quite there yet..)

4) a Leader in marketplace. and in Church ministry. ( needless to say... much to work on. i believe when (1) and (2) is well managed.. (4) will naturally come.. )

5) CG multiply ..... wait tat's not it... and every member will be at least a recognised ministry or marketplace leader. ( y recognised? ans: Matt 7:20 )

6) Career / Study directions. ( i still dunno my talent. )



Well. PTL !!! I got a new job assignment with Citibank now. haha Elaine said has she set up my workstation account !! I can start work next Wed! :) Well this should assist much in my building fund amount.





Thanks again Jesus buddy. :)

21

21 has arrived.




spend a day at my cousin housing nuaing and playing psp. -_- really no life.



going out later to meet fun and bao.




very bored nw. that's why im here ^^