thinking.

its 2007 and things has jus not been de same. everything seems to be quite different. its hard to explain. i cant tell if its jus the pple around me has changed ... or is it that my heart is changed?





anyway i know i cant let the things around me affect me negatively. the voidness of emotions i feel sometimes is pretty terrible. sadness, happiness, anger, joy .. all this seems to be non-existent.





its hard to fathom friendship sometimes ... when de things u try yr best to hold seems to just fade away so easily.





is there a point in trying?

painful hand..

Today i went to BS at Riverwalk .. was quite lost for awhile and den my instinct kicks in and i start doing what normal Singaporeans like to do when they get lost...




follow the crowd...



The place is rather unique ... :) and the cooler thing is its a 5 mins walk to Chinatown! :) Ask any chinatown boy how cool is that ^^



Today's lesson was really interesting .. it feels like i'm studying the making of the whole world all over again in a new dimension! Well, what i learn today really suprised me. to think that there is a possibility of God making another human race on earth before the Adamic race (which we are all part of) ... is pretty amazing.. The thing is ... if God did create another human race before us .. where are they now? have they been shrunk to live as bacteria in de air ? or are they all in heaven now? As what i've learnt today ... there are many worlds that were created and there was one (or possibly more than 1) that was totally destroyed before our world because of rebellion. whether another race of living beings were there ... it still remains a mystery. there's jus a possibility.




well my hand now hurts. it might be because of my arthritis relapse. i cant sleep well yesterday night because of the pain. hope it heals soon..

Appreciation for 2006.

[ mood : ]






sorry for the belated post.. this was originally draft arnd 31st dec 06..

this is for all the history-makers i've met in my life.

---

2006 is coming to an end!!!




Jason hereby wishes you readers in advance Happy New Year 2007!!!




and he wants to do some appreciation to people he values in his life.







My Granny

My granny :) Despite our differences and the great generation gap.. she's has inevitably been the closest kin to me. thanks for taking care of me all these years and putting a roof over my head. Through the tough times, she has managed to make ends meet and raise up her children on her own. and even after that, she has taken the responsibility of grooming her grandchild - that's me. She isn't the kind that out lavish words of love to you.. but her daily routine actions has said it all. She has given me the chance to be who i am today :) Isn't she great? thank you grandma.



'Dad and Mom'

Yea... people asked me why they look so young. :) ahha. Its in the genes ! that's why i also look young :D .. but seriously .. these people are my (cg) leaders that have blessed me beyond what i've asked for. The teachings, discipleship and dreams we shared together are really irreplaceable memories. I remembered once when i have no formal wear for my ministry use (as an usher). Due to my family persecution that time, i'm unable to get any extra allowance to get formal clothes. Mom took the iniative to ask her friends for spare formal-wear which they do not need, for my sake. She also gave me some money together with Chua (ex-cgm) for me to buy a brand new attire. Sweet rite? They happen to be one of the most loving people i know in the world. :) Their lives has became my inspiration. :) Thanks for sowing endlessly to my life. and making me a part of your lives. Thanks mom and dad. I'll support your visions all the way.



My father and bros.

okay this is my real dad! :) I finally am able to take a picture of them after they attended de candlelight Christmas service at my church. I've said quite little of them to anyone. Well not staying with them is one reason why we ain't that close. But i know my dad really cares for me. you can probably call this father-son intuition. My bros are really shy but they like me (and probably every kid in town) share the same passion - Computer games! I wouldn't be here today without my dad. Thanks dad. Hope i can spend even more time with you all this year.



Turtle / QH

The famous intelletual turtle! hahaha... jeez she's one of those girls i like to tease. :) Well on the serious note... she's one of those friends that i could really count on as a friend. It's not because of what she does that makes her a great friend. It's really who she is that makes her that. She's a person that values relationship and always sees the needs of her friends above her own needs. That's her amazing x-factor. :D haha. But really... i feel that if she's doing for the sake of pleasing people.. she would have given up long ago. It's the values she hold really makes her a great friend. She also has an amazing fighting spirit that's really powerful. But we both know that's God's grace - that she always constantly remind me of . Thanks girl for being an awesome friend to me :) I enjoyed the pizzas we had during my revision periods :) Hope to have more too in de future .. ha. All the best in your pursue for honours degree .... and yr doctorate degree too... :)



Jason Chong

See the perfect smile on the man wif golden hair ? Anyone can tell u he makes a great usher :D.. haha but well he has already committed in another important ministry in CHC. Chong is a great guy and if you know him long enough.. you know he's really a great guy. He has always reminded me of 2 things - generousity and faithfulness. Chong is always steadfast in lending his support to his friends, cg and his own ministry. Sometimes i get alittle worried when i see him balance so many commitments at a time .. but well he always prove my worries wrong when he shares his testimonies :). A giver is always blessed and he's life is a testimony to that. Thanks dude for being there for me when i needed too. Hopecha get A++++++ in yr Final year project this year. :D



JJ

JJ : the 3rd Jason (with this name) in my cg! Though he's young, don't be fooled. This boy is a history-maker on the making! I am always encouraged hearing his amazing things God has done in his life. Just like my leader, said.... he has the softest heart that is ever-contrite towards God. Though he isn't under my follow-up now, i'm happy of his growth and de testimonies he shares in his life. Who says young people could not prove God exist and is faithful ?? This boy's life is a living testimony. Thanks JJ for your faithfulness. your faith has helped mine grow too.



Pandy / Xiu Wen

She's one girl that i really missed in my cg. But i know things happen for a reason and whatever happens .. it's under the covering of God. I still rememebr de first time we met and she looks just so different. She has really grown more pretty [ erm i'm just being honest here... nothing more or less.=) ]. Maybe she'll be able to get a bf soon if she stops wacking guys around everytime she meets one. ":) haha.. Anyway .. wen is a pretty expressive lady and she doesn't hold back when she has something nice to say to you. She taught me many things and i learn how to be strong just by working together with her. She's a lady that's slow to anger.. quick to love. And she can be very playful sometimes too :). Thanks wen for showing me the way when i see none.



Ms Rabbit / Jiayi

I actually thought she's a very cold lady when i first met her. hahaha .. but time proves me wrong when i get to know her deeper. She's really nice friend that is always cheerful. Makes a good usher :) Though it isn't long since we became friends .. i am thankful that i get to know someone that's always caring and thoughtful. She's addicted to rabbits too :D and well .. i think they are really like diamonds to her .. ha. Just simply... I'm happy to know her as my friend. Well i'll purposely miss my cue in my next pool game with you ok? let you win. lol



Ms Hui Ming

See this lady here ? She's my Bio teacher when i prepare for my A's last year. And the great thing she offered me this year was to give me free tutoring at her available hours. Sometimes i am really embarass to be taken in by her w/o paying her any tutoring fees. The best i can do is to show her the results. Speaking of her tutoring ... she's one of the most dynamic funny teacher i've ever met. Though sometimes i may not laugh-out-loud (lol) at her amusing lessons... i've always look forward to her dramatic examples in proving a point or principle from Bio. And spending time with her either in her classes or in ministry when serving with her.. you'll discover that she's a person that focuses on details and innovative ideas. I've always like to learn from de way she thinks and analyse subjects around her. And ushers .... you got to see how she ushers people. Never breaks a smile wherever she goes. I'm happy i was taught by such leaders.



Ms Peifen

She's an amazing lady. She might be a lady of small stature, but she has a big mind and big faith! Through my JC days, well the greatest seed she has sown in my life is the seed of faith and hope. She brought me to know the family i hold today.. and sat by to watch my way. I remebered the little times we attended chapel hours together after school and spend time praying for school revival back at SAJC. things could be so different now if i did not get to know God through her. I'm thankful for such a friend as this. Now i'm an usher-in-command by her, i hope i can be a great usher under her leadership. and well i know i can be troublesome sometimes.... I'm just grateful she knows how to shephard me and de rest of de sheeps in de flock. If opportunity arises again, i would want to do my best in aiding de flock.



My Uncle Chin Aik and his family

My great uncle that has taken care of him since i first shared de same roof with him under my grandma's house. Before his marriage, he has became a real harsh teacher and guide in my early childhood years. Sometimes he left scars of love in my life. you might wonder why i place scars wif love together rite? That's because sometimes love hurts. and though i do not understand fully why it does ... i do understand that it might be a cost that is paid for something great in my life. something i can't see now yet. I love him as my very own dad nevertheless and probably one day if he sees this... i hope he'll feel the same. He takes care of me .... and is willing to pay for my wants and needs. Thinking back of the things he has done.. i would really want to be a great successful man in de future so that he can be proud of me. I'll always rememember your advices uncle. :)



to others around not mention ... well you're not forgotten :) ... you'll always be in Jason's memory bank. the year 2006 will be very much different without you guys n girls. I sure hope we can have more fun together this year :)






I like to post pictures online. these are last year's nice pix:



Jammin wif my pri sch fren - yy






the fellowships we had in usher..










live Jamming sessions wif camp-mates.











jammin wif lil per.






my cousins rededicated :) ..






Guitar graduation dinner at pastamania..





community service wif the folks from Henderson homes..
i like community services like this :)






w143 .. my ohana


mom's (our cell grp leader) bday surprise!




cg after emerge ...




regular meet-out wif Taiwan guests...




National day celebration at ECP.. =)




bros @ xmas party





sis @ xmas party




outin to settlers cafe




NSAD Anniversary - pyjama's night





Kun's h20 Baptism





Chong, vic, turtle and mine h20 baptism ceremony~~























ok finished the post finally :) i can go sleep soon ...

Burns up.

[ mood : ]





I'm quite happy this weekend. well after de rough rough waves over the last few weeks ... and de struggle thru o6... i'm happy that i arrive here somehow wif the treasure that really matter in the year 2007. It reminds me of a story i seen recently.



A man went to a minister for counseling once. He was in the midst of a financial collapse.


"I've lost everything. " he bemoaned.


"Oh, i'm so sorry to hear that you've lost your faith."


"No," the man corrected him, "I haven't lost my faith."


"Well, then i'm sad to hear that you've lost your character."


"I didn't say that," he corrected. " I still have my character."


"I see. Then I'm so sorry to hear that you've lost your salvation"


"That's not what i said!" the man objected. " I haven't lost my salvation.:


"You have your faith, your character, your salvation.... seems to me that you've lost none of the things that really matter."




Is that all that matter? Maybe it is. After hearing the story.. it makes me feel that i probably should start looking at the things outside of my world. There's this stange esteem-degenerative thoughts that has stricken my mind the last couple of weeks. you know the feel-lousy-for-no-reason kind of state. urgh and it makes me quite sick seeing myself like this. well at least now it's much better. struggle to be free. a step at a time..




The last 3 weekdays were quite taxing... 've been computing raw data for de presentation to the head of my army-svc organization ... up till 8 - 10 plus at night. De nature of the work is really quite no-brainer and de thing that kills us is really the bulk of extra work all of us has to bear. Well army life can't get more exciting than that :) . Anyway i'm goin to ORD sooonnnn !!!!! de time of reckoning of de days left has come! hahaha... very soon i shall relieved my duty in the army as ( wad me and patrick like to call) sai-kang warriors (skw) far far behind .. amongst de lengends..




Anyway... as the title states .. i wanna say i'm burned up from de Delirious concert. all my frens goes ... "woa woah wow" after de service. i mean the band itself is really extraodinary itself. It's always exciting when we have them around :) and i've always enjoyed their innovative form of music. I've place a track among my playlist in my blog for listening too. The song - deeper has reached top 20 in de year 1997 at UK charts. :)



Deeper
delirious?

I want to go deeper
But I don't know how to swim
I want to be meeker
But have you seen this old earth?
I want to fly higher
But these arms won't take me there
I want to be, I want to be

Maybe I could run
Maybe I could fly, to you
Do you feel the same
When all you see is
Blame in me?

And the wonder of it all is that I'm living just to fall
More in love with you [x2]

I want to go deeper
But is it just a stupid whim?
I want to be weaker
Be a help to the strong
I want to run faster
But this old leg won't carry me
I want to be, I want to be

Maybe I could run
Maybe I could fly, to you
Do you feel the same
When all you see is
Blame in me?

And the wonder of it all is that I'm living just to fall
More in love with you [x2]

Maybe I could run
Maybe I could follow
It's time to walk the path
Where many seem to fall
Hold me in your arms
Just like any father would
How long do we have to wait?
How long, we're going all the way

And the wonder of it all is that I'm living just to fall
More in love with you





i've enjoyed the presence they brought along.


and yea ... i'll go deeper.

Psalms 23 - "My" way.

[ mood : *flu* ]




David's Ps 23rd with the modern reality twist.



I am my own shephard. I am always in need.
I stumble from mall to mall and shrink to shrink,
seeking relief but never finding it.

I creep through the valley of the shadow of death and fall apart.
I fear everything from pesticides to power lines,
and i'm starting to act like my mother.
I go down to the weekly staff metting and am surrounded by enemies.
I go home, and even my goldfish scrowls at me.
I annoint my headache with extra-strength Panadol.
My Jack Daniel's runneth over me.
Surely misery and misfortune will follow me,
and I will live in self-doubt for the rest of my life.



i am guilty of being my own shephard too lots of times.







adapted again from traveling light..

Rest

[ mood : ]






The bow cannot always be bent,
without fear or breaking.
For a field to bear fruit,
it must occasionally lie fallow.
And for you to be healthy,
you must rest.






He says 6 days he works, 1 day he rest.
maybe that's the way it goes.






a good rest refreshes my soul =)



a read extract from Traveling light.

Despondent.

everyday as dawn breaks.

i hope to see that glean of light

yet my heart has turn cold. the withered cold.

it cries alone in despair.



Despondent