Quit

I quit my job today.



I was kinda sad and fustrated today.



I found a secret spot to shed some tears today. to release all that fustration and burdens in me.



felt really much better. but these thoughts keep crossing my mind .. that i am a trouble-maker... that i cause more problems in my work. the lack of value in there... and team spirit really drowned me at some point.



but u noe what i pressed on ... sometimes thinking am i should be like Job.



In a sense at the end of it all ... i realise i have a great need for love and appreciation.



and the end of the day i realise another few things of myself :


1) my communication skills (with working adults) is not there. kinda like we flow with different expectations and desires. im in the world but hardly in their lives.

2) im still thirsty for love and appreciation. something that cannot be gain simply from human relations. if people refuse to give me .. its ok. i can get a better one with no strings attached ... i needa seek it out from God.

3) that God is nice. Im thankful for all the nice people he place in my lives despite it all.


4) i needa spend more time in prayer. to lay aside my setbacks and look in more to God.




It grieves me that i am not able to make an impact in peoples lives. Somehow it seems to show that people are better off without me.... this i cried out to God .... that i know is not His will. But why do i keep feeling this way ... ( and in the reality of my workplace it seems so ). I really wanna make things better for people ... and it disappoints me when things happen the opposite way.



God im nothing ... but make me something out of my imperfectness.