Friday, July 22, 2005

untitled.

[ personal ramblings ]




I feel stress again..












I was really angry today with one of the mdm's in my unit.












Sigh.. i shall let it go.














I wonder how is all my A' level friends from SAJC doing now.









yea some are enjoying camps. Some are working to kill time. Some are preparing for their new term in their allocated university. Some are just like me, stuck 2 years with SAF.











I'm just so sad with my life. If i have straighten myself in my JC days and reject the defeated mindset i carried, i might have done more meaningful work now. I could take on part-time lessons to improve myself. Be more productive in my work place. Help out more in my ministry and cell group. Spend more time with my family.







I am a bad manager. Real bad. I really need to increase my capacity. Handle the hurts in life better. Able to forgive unreasonable selfish people easily. but sometimes feel really helpless. i feel i am going no-where. I regret my 2 years of wasted JC life.










Its real sad. All the guilt is coming back to me again. I feel that life is so tough to continue sometimes. Sometimes i wish i wasn't born on this Earth. That God have not created me at all.












sickening feelings. I reject those thoughts. But the deep drowning feelings always return. Time and again.








Yea no point dwellin like an idiot here... i need to be slapped sometimes.










I will walk on. But forgive me if i cant perform. I've told myself i have to change ...















and i will.










....... I just want to be alone from this world .........

6 comments:

yj said...

no man is an island..... God created Eve for Adam for companionship.... there is no such thing as a lone ranger christian... =) ur friends are always there for u... well, i would be there... =) waiting with u for ur breakthrough... =)

stormchaser said...

I read this quote today:

"Even in the midnight hour, Jesus wants us to believe in the daylight."

take life one step at a time :)

don't listen to what the devil whispers in your ear.

We're all behind you. :)

stormchaser said...

Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

-phil 3:13-14

forget what has already happened and press on towards doing well at your A's :)

"s0n|c'C@libr3,, said...

thx guys.


appreciate the dose of helpful edifying words.








Mistakes made unlearnt are wasted mistakes.I will not make the mistake of disregarding my failures :) ... thx for reading and encourging me

hyde said...

I can identify with your pain. But like you said yourself it's pointless to look to the past. It's like a whirlpool, all it does is make you sink further down into guilt and regret.

Face the future and walk the path true to you. You're still young. You're still alive. To live is really a privilege. You have the power to change. You can shape your destiny. As long as you have an end in mind, your life will never be meaningless.

"s0n|c'C@libr3,, said...

thx :)



good to hear words from ya ...