1st Day

What a day!







Been tired again. Can't imagine .. 1st day of work and i feel pretty worn already. Probably not used to waking up early to work. Really thank God for this job.

1) It's near my house (2 NEL stops away!)
2) I have 2 friendly mentors ^^
3) It brings me better income! No more eating of grass (soon! need to get paycheck 1st).



Basically, i deal with capital repayment for Housing Loans. Sounds pretty simple, but the work process is pretty tedious and sophisticated. Maybe its because i am not used to the Bank Lingos... it's all pretty technical. I think at the end of the day, i am still a little messed up from all the different work processed i need to do. One bad thing about the job is probably because of its repetitive nature. But well i can't expect much from an office administrative job. Unless i do telemarketing or management training ... or something something else.


But one thing for sure... i want to bask myself in this office... and be able to absorb everything like a sponge. Kinda hard for a guy who has STM and i had to resort to calling my mentor "shifu" since i forgot her name again and again :) .


Well after all is said and done, it's an interesting environment. It has a pretty weird stereotype that guys will hate such jobs because its mundane less hands-on. Well that is true to a certain extent i guess. Frankly, it's boring. The up side is that i get to learn about housing loans and alittle about the back-end admin support for a bank. HSBC is a pretty cool place. It has reminiscence of my work back in NSSC in a way. :) sure brings little memories back then. ah wadeva.


Tomorrow is dressed down day! got to dressed down... down down down down down .... ^^


Be a salt and light Jason.

E-mail

got an interesting mail from Chun li. Check it out.





Rules from God


1. Wake Up !!
Decide to have a good day.
"Today is the day the Lord hath made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it."
Psalms 118:24


2. Dress Up !!
The best way to dress up is to put on a smile.
A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.
Man looks at outward appearance;
but the Lord looks at the heart."
I Samuel 16:7 !

3. Shut Up!!
Say nice things and learn to listen.
God gave us two ears and one mouth, so He must have meant
for us to do twice as much listening as talking.
"He who guards his lips guards his soul."
Proverbs 13:3


4. Stand Up!!...
For what you believe in.
Stand for something or you will fall for anything..
"Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time,
we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good..."
Galatians 6:9-10

5. Look Up !!...
To the Lord.
"I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me."
Philippians 4:13


6. Reach Up !!...
For something higher.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and lean not unto your own understanding.
In all your ways, acknowledge Him,
and He will direct your path."
Proverbs 3:5-6


7. Lift Up !!...
Your Prayers.
"Do not worry about anything;
instead PRAY ABOUT
EVERYTHING."
Philippians 4:6



this prob makes each day counts..

Gym work.

I just came back from the Expo gym.... ahh and i just got a revelation today...



I need to hit the gym more. or at least work out my muscles more. Me knowing me knows that i will procastinate.. sadly so ... but still i wanna get back those muscles .... ahhh and get back in shape.



Hope tomorrow will be a better day. After emerge 07 ... it's like i am crawling through life these days. Been moody ..... and idle.... and just sad. Oh how long must i remain like this? sigh.



shalln't think about those sad sad stuffs. His joy shall be my strength.

Emerge!

Wad a word to say. Emerge!!





I just returned from Expo. Tired. But i felt good. No it's not just a feeling. I am just happy. Filled but still hungry. So very hungry. And i still have a a lot of digesting to do!



Pastor Kong raised many important issues that talks about many Christian's lifestyles .... and attitude. I have received a lot in my head ... but in the spirit .. i have not taken in as much. And i know the true assimilation of this knowledge comes when we live out the word.



Since this is a private blog .... with actually little or no one actually visiting here ... i have more freedom of pouring my thoughts w/o being affected by people's opinions. These few weeks .... i am really doing my best to live a life ... that is away from the opinions from people ..... only opening my ears to the words that matters. Words from leaders i respect. Words from people i am under. And ultimately words from God. Its hard.... but this brings my focus to the things that really matter. And you know .... today i feel kinda hard to communicate with cg again. Tiredness may be part of the reason. But i really feel separated from these people. It's not like i hate my cg mates .... but i just couldn't get along very well with people around me now. But yet i know that beyond feelings or such thoughts ... i need to obey God. Love people as you love yourself. Love people fervently. And as i said in my prayer ... i will obey.




I hope to be able to blog some testimonies of my lifestyle with Christ. How much God has blessed me ... and how i can share these blessings with people. Indeed, i will proclaim the word through my life attitudes as Jesus did .... with the trumpet that is now on my hand.

---

As i worship God the last few days in emerge ... there are times i broke down b4 God. There are times where my heart is in a furry and i can't sense God at all. There are times when i see Wen liang or some crowd looking at me and grew a little neighbor-conscious. It's distracting. And somehow i got some feeling thru-out the last 2 times i sat with Wenliang that he doesn't like me... -_- oh well.. As i see these things now .... i shared with turtle on a cab that i do get affected by the conditions of our cg too .... speaking from the experience of someone that has lost all faith in my cg members and friends ... i know the feeling of detachment ... the discouragement ... the disappointment in living in an environment like this. As i ponder about all these things .... i realise that it's really like what Pastor says. If it's all going to be, it's all about to me. I can't relate to young people ... or in fact people ... as well as before ... but with the HS ... i can change one soul at a time. I can try to do something. It's simple. It's either you change them or they change you. That's the power that lies in the bonds we hold. I'm living in fear frankly ... that i will fall away from God ... that the path ahead will throw me off.... But i know that's why we really need God this time. If David can rise up above Goliathe and slay the giant with what God uses in his hands .... I can certainly do the same. And even more because we are living in the times of New Testament where the HS is freely given to us.



There are many things that strike me. One thing i know is that during this emerge .... the words i receive doesn't seem to be like revelations. But in fact its more like God telling me this is my word... do it... and i'll show you more. It doesn't strike my heart as before .... but its like deposited in a seed form. That's why Pastor said so many times recently... God is searching ... he is searching for one man ... one woman who is willing to stand in the gap. Willing to take up the cross. Willing to exchange his/her life with His. Willing to go to the ends of the earth for Him. Just willing.



God i'm willing. I know my heart is dry. My mind is filled with many past disappointments. My body is weak. But God i want to be more like you. So use me as only you can.

Evil must flee!

I just watch a show on Discovery Channel while ironing clothes. I don't know what's the title (i bum into the show midway). But i was quite surprised that they portray it like a scary movie. I mean a documentary that looks like " I know what you did last summer! " ... that surely caught my interest.



The show is about an interview with a family who had a bad experience in 1 of their apartments. It wasn't an ordinary bad experience. It has to do with spirits.


From the onset i watched, they recounted the events that take place in that house. First, it was the voices they heard in the daughter's bedroom. The young girl in her teens began to complain about the strange noises she heard and that the house is weird. The mother confessed too that there is a heaviness in the air ... and she heard voices too. She began to share with her husband but he wouldn't listen as he never witness any of that. He sticks to science and brushes everything off with a simple " I'm sure there's a logical explanation behind it".


Eventually, there comes one night after a while.. the mom experienced a choking experience in the room in the night. She begin to started repeating a verse in latin ..... something she doesn't understand.... and she behaves like she's been strangled. The incident grew even more bizzare when one night, the daughter heard cold whispers in her ears.. she got up from her bed and when she look back she saw a floating head next to her. O_O Quite scary.


Eventually, after the numerous unexplainable incidents ... and to no avail in convincing his husband of their plight, she decided to do a search on a net and she located a paranormal investigation squad that specialises in the paranormal incidents. The man on the phone was pretty convinced they are dealing with spirits and he (though not a christian) consulted a Bishop before proceeding to California to find that family. He brought together his team of people ... together with high-tech equipments that is used to sense things that cannot be detected by our 5 senses. Infrared sensors, Magnetifield sensors, Microphones that can detect noises much below the audio frequencies detected by our ear ... and a whole lot of sophisticated junkies. :) The amazing thing is he said he isn't a christian .. but look at the things he do later ( i'll share at later part). Before coming, he prepared himself by fasting for 9 days! He says to defeat something evil... you have to be really good.


Their first night stay was kinda scary. I thought with more people, there will be less incidents. But no ... on the first night, one lady was up on the shift ( they take turns to monitor the house for any supernatural activities happening in their midst) ... they suddenly all hear a "pop" loud sound and they were all woken up. Suddenly, the man (from the paranormal investigation squad) was brought from a horizontal position to a vertical position like a stick from ground being lifted up! He cannot explained what happen but the people all around all were shocked. Okay i wanna fast forward all this since it is getting late..



Eventually they were convinced a demon is leaving among their midst. When they consulted their neighours earlier about the previous house owners before the family .. they learned that there was a lady which practises cult-like rituals in their stay. They began to perform a exorcism ritual on the house.... and guess what ? They began to call on the name of the Lord from the Holy scriptures! So much for being a free-thinker but using the name of the Lord to cast out evil spirits. They began to go around the house praying and burning holy incense (as mentioned in the tabernacle series in the bible). *zoom to the end* The family was relieved the demon is gone and they have sent it back to hell . There was a huge resistance by the demon btw... (If you have seen our pastors cast out demon in our church you'll understand. It's something like that..) They were still traumatised by the experience so when they had enough money .. they bought a new home.



Now as i see this show ... i was quite shaken inside .. yet something in me click in place. It's like what Ps Benny Hinn says .... when light comes into darkness... darkness flees!! Light and darkness cannot cohabit with each other. Where there is darkness ... there is no light. But when light comes.... where shall darkness hide? No where! God has won the battle. Though day by day we continue to fight the fight of faith .... and sometimes in the walk ... we lose faith.... but He tells me that it's done. I cannot fall into deceit. No darkness can prevail when light comes. I am feeling spiritually weak this week... but He assures me that i should walk by faith and not by sight.


Thank God for your redeeming grace. I will fight the good fight ... and even as non-christians acknowledged your name ... i know truly there is power in the name of Jesus. :) Thank you for showing me the way again.

Character and people.

Its just a day before emerge. Cant say i was very excited. Cant say i am burning with passion. Urg its weird. But i want to catch something tomorrow. Something in life that i'll never forget. Think as i type now, the ushers should be packing up. My CG mates and other church mates busily preparing and praying for success in tomorrow's POS. What a day it will be tomorrow! Must sleep early!




I went to Fuji Xerox towers just now for a job interview with Prudential. Apparently someone gave my name their company to do a character analysis. The company is expanding their workforce and recruiting new Prudential Advisers .... hence they are looking through contacts of people to recruit people. The interview is simple but quite unique. She mentioned about the pros of commission based job with them .... and how i can rise based on my hard work. But of course their work leans on selling "schemes" or plans for people. And certain people have a better edge because of their personality. So we did the classic "DISC" test .

So it turns out i am a high S and C person ... a low I and super low D guy. In short in translate to a more systematic Objective thinker. The 2 other job titles for this test are Specialists and something something. Basically people with D and I will perform naturally better because when it comes to marketing and sales, they can convince people and relate to them the benefits better. I supposed they are more of the extroverts. The review she let me read for an Objective thinker is surprisingly accurate review about my personality. The good points for me is that i seek out the truth, and tend to do research and make things right. The cons are the introvert attitude .. where ideas and feelings are often left deep in my mind unexpressed.



A short snipplet of DISC profile personality test.


Dominance: People who score high in the intensity of the 'D' styles factor are very active in dealing with problems and challenges, while low D scores are people who want to do more research before committing to a decision. High "D" people are described as demanding, forceful, egocentric, strong willed, driving, determined, ambitious, aggressive, and pioneering. Low D scores describe those who are conservative, low keyed, cooperative, calculating, undemanding, cautious, mild, agreeable, modest and peaceful.

Influence: People with High I scores influence others through talking and activity and tend to be emotional. They are described as convincing, magnetic, political, enthusiastic, persuasive, warm, demonstrative, trusting, and optimistic. Those with Low I scores influence more by data and facts, and not with feelings. They are described as reflective, factual, calculating, skeptical, logical, suspicious, matter of fact, pessimistic, and critical.

Steadiness (Submission in Marston's time): People with High S styles scores want a steady pace, security, and don't like sudden change. Low S intensity scores are those who like change and variety. High S persons are calm, relaxed, patient, possessive, predictable, deliberate, stable, consistent, and tend to be unemotional and poker faced. People with Low S scores are described as restless, demonstrative, impatient, eager, or even impulsive.

Conscientiousness (Compliance in Marston's time): Persons with High C styles adhere to rules, regulations, and structure. They like to do quality work and do it right the first time. High C people are careful, cautious, exacting, neat, systematic, diplomatic, accurate, tactful. Those with Low C scores challenge the rules and want independence and are described as self-willed, stubborn, opinionated, unsystematic, arbitrary, and careless with details.


I scored 16 for Dominance, 12 - Influence, 48 - Steadiness, 24 -Compliance. Test taken from http://www.mtselect.co.uk/testing/DISC.htm




After the interview, i went to a nearby Job recruitment agency to apply for a job. One thing that worries me constantly is i do not have any office attires. I am not sure if my formal clothes i wear to usher is okay because i hardly see anyone wear that sort of attire in offices. Most wear light blue, green, or white shirt with a simple neat tie. Plus i lost my army shoes .... urgh I don't wanna ask money from my stingy grandma. So maybe i can borrow some money and buy and then repay after i get my first pay check. :)



As i drop by the library, i read some cool testimonies from True (Singapore) Files about how lives are miraculously changed. One story talked about a man who suffered low self esteem and never found love and comfort .... and he constantly had sexual thoughts over men. Not a very bright situation. But as he met church mates who actually sit there to listen and share with him, he gradually finds light in his situation. Though it was a tough walk, he made it through with intensive counceling and care of the people around him.



I grew to wonder about a few things of our Church and other churches in Singapore. Not saying that i am comparing God's work ... but i just want to understand more of the reality in the world i am in. My Church - City Harvest can be said as the coolest place in town. Not because we specialised in entertainment, but rather works of excellence that pleases God. Whatever for? This is the modern translation of being on fire with God. We worship God with everything that we had. We give passionately. We meet people passionately. We stand up for truths... and yea we do our best in being Christian. But even more importantly, we want to be closer with Him. And we are willing to obey the mandate given to the church.


That's the good part in being a big church with strong spiritual foundations and great leaders. But somehow, i wonder if we, actually do simple things like have house to house fellowship? Like going up to someone's house specially just to pray for the person ? I see that in books. But somehow i do not know if it can happen in our church.


some random ramblings..

GDOP.

GDOP stands for Global day of prayer.



Wonder if everyone was praying all around the world on the same day we gathered at National Stadium..


It was a pretty interesting event .... well at least its something u dun get to see every week at expo. It was a pretty slow-paced event ... but it was good. Ushered with Jarrett through the meeting.



The event wasn't as packed as i thought. But well, i think everyone enjoyed praying together that day. A praying nation is hmmmm... i dunno. A mighty nation!!!




A hot day followed by a breezy night.





we are far far far away from stage....



prayer partner.

Wonder

hmm..




I could be a bird in the sky....
and ride the thermal drifts to the horizon.

I could be a fish in the sea...
and enjoy the splendors of the deep.


I could be an ignorant ant...
that works and works day by day.


Or I could be just me.
A spectator in the wonders of your creation.
That knows the true value of life itself is in you.


Thank God for making me, me. Your faith in me taught me to believe..

---

My granny nags again. Early morning nagging is not good for your brain.
She tells me if i do not want to study, go get a job. Ahh but i'm already doing it. It's just that i have not told her yet. Thinking about all of it all .... i somehow dwell back into the past where those hurtful words were said to me. I can still remember those words! It's hard to let go.... but to hold on to spiteful emotions is harder. Because the damage it does to my heart is immeasurable. Forgiving is also an art to master.



Jobs jobs jobs ........ i need a job.

Going..

I went to search for a job today .... and ironically .... i do not know the name of the company ... or the exact location of the venue.... but i just went and followed the lead of my contact...


Turns out to be a sales job with this company - DW Group. Throughout the intro and interview (round1), thoughts of " Is this another MLM conspiracy ??? or would this be another NTI experience" keep running through the back of my mind.... i feel alittle paranoid there but as he explained more about the job.... i realised is another job with Sales.


Great!



I don't like sales job. The last time a seemingly nice com-guy con me into this job of selling computers .... with promises that we will sell at least 20 over plus computers.. wow! and guess what ... our top owner sold only 11 computers. I sold 5 coms thru the whole com-fair and well ... bygones bygones... i forgive the guy .... and sales probably is not my cup of tea. I don't know.... but i really wanna get a job .... a good paying job with a bank. Maybe i can lower my expectations on the pay part but i wanna know how the banking world is like and whether its my passion to work in bank. So i message all my friends in banks if there are vacancies .... but sadly there are no good news yet.




ahhh nvm. I got to keep trying. I want 1 year of work experience before i choose to further my studies. Hopefully the experience will prove useful ... or even better help me to understand my calling on the way. Pastor always say that the signs and wonders are in the market place. Its not reserved specially just for synagogues or church meetings.... but God longs to move mightily among the people in the world. I just hope that i will not get too much of office politics =/



Thank God for your sustenance. Truly by your grace, i have the ability to serve in the cg again. And by your mercy, i found peace. God with all that i have, i pray that i will have more of you in my life. For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. Thank you Jesus.

Struggle

Oh God.....



Who can stand righteous before you o Lord?




Who can share the intimate (secret) things of God ....??





O Lord i have sin against you. and against you only have i sinned.I know that many are called but few are chosen.
It is so hard to walk in the path i need to walk Lord.
But God can i experience you even more intimately than before? Despite what my caretakers say, i have forgo it all to follow you... And yet i do not want to disappoint yet another person.. my loved ones. And i know i have constantly upset you with my sins and pride.
But God you say you are forgiving and just....
and it will take time to forge back our friendship of trust.
Lord i will perservere for the upward call of God...
seeking Jesus, my author and finisher of faith...
with the help of the Holy spirit my advocate,
I will wanna see blue skies with that rainbow u made for Noah..and the love you gave to all your dearest beloved children abba Father..


Do not forsake me again for i am alone in this spiritual battle.


I still want to be a man of God. A friend of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.


Not my will but yours ..... amen.

---

I want to follow but what does it mean?
To live in this world and keep everything clean
Nothing i own here is every my own
When i live in the mercy and blessing you've shown
I lay down my life, see the world through your eyes
And fight for the hungry who pay for our lives
I want to help you in all of you will
So Jesus consume me, fill through me
Because now is the time


lyrics by Delirious?

$$$

I need finances.........




thank God for the job that came by last week... the details are quite sketchy though.. -_- and its only 1 hour per day! And if they are going to pay me around $5 per hr .... i cant imagine further. Oh well i need to pay my BF badly...



I begin to ponder about a few things recently.... one aspect is about financial breakthrough. I do not have any big financial breakthroughs so far ...... and frankly ... i am wondering the offering messages that i gave ... all those promises... will it come to past?


I realise something that any educated 3 - year old kid can tell me ... No work = no pay = no luxuries = no giving to the Lord = no giving to friends. As much as i would like to bless others in their birthday ... the main problem now is that i am spending too much time at home .. either playing games ... surfing the net or reading manga(s) .. than getting a proper job to equip myself with experience and cash! Its just my old lazy bones... and my old habit of procastinating...


I feel like i have to hunt for more jobs fast... and even if it means i would not be able to fulfill my BF in time ... i got to try.



Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered Isaac his son on the altar? Do you see that faith was working together with his works, and by works faith was made perfect? ..... You see then that a man is justified by works, and not by faith only ....... For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.

James 2 : 21-22, 24, 26


You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you.

John 15 :16

The Old and the New.

I had a great week last week.





And after the BS lessons, the books and the infilling of God's word in my life... suddenly there seems to be a light upon my path.




God has spoken many times in my life... but it was a pity i did not treasure those times i spent with him. He has a great vision for me ... and probably the mantle might have been given to another faithful one. However, i know he always has plans for every single one of us. A calling. And even as i try to draw close to him.... i get to understand that most of the time i will not be able to feel God's presence. If it God is so real, and if he long to have such a communion with us ... why is it so hard to seek God. Qi Hui told me last week that she had a revelation of that during our zone prayer meeting. Well the revelation she had is amazing. She mentioned that to know God more, just like knowing any ordinary friend ... you'll need to spend more time ... more effort ... sometimes necessary sacrifices to understand that person well. This in turn indirectly shows how much you value him/her. Qi hui has showed me this before. I on the other hand run from the ones i treasure before. Can't face them. The devil really did his job.


But now, in another sense i get to know God so so much better this week. This is i must say a 50% head-knowledge and a 50% revelation. I believe i still do not have a full revelation of what God is doing or showing me in my life. I realise that in all that emptiness i have within me .... my longing for some infilling of substance has drawn me away and to God. When his presence is there, i praise Him and thank Him .. and rejoice in that atmosphere. But when i could not feel his presence ... or do not feel like engaging it ... my spirit hungers less ... and the desires of my flesh increases. Its a struggle and when Bro Jeremy talk about it in BS, i begin to see a clear reflection of my attitude and my response towards God. God wants me to fellowship with him intimately. And He wants to draw me so close to him. Though many times i cannot feel him there... when i seek, i cannot find. "Where are you".... i always asked. Then i learned he was just right that at that time. I couldn't see Him. Or feel Him. But he is there. And the reason is because there are still areas in my life God has to deal with before we can commune closely. I will have to follow closely his lead...




Now, I want to seek God for who He is. Not just what He can do. The Beattitudes are really a description of the people of Heaven. And to be like one .... i need to start learning it well from my Teacher. HS..




In Christ, I am a new creature. I will put on my New man and rejoice with all the great exchanges Jesus paid for me.

Strip yourselves of your former nature [put off and discard your old unrenewed self] which characterized your previous manner of life and becomes corrupt through lusts and desires that spring from delusion. And be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude], And put on the new nature (the regenerate self) created in God's image, [Godlike] in true righteousness and holiness.

Eph 4 : 22-24.

He said..

I haven't been doing my PDL series so regularly because .....




1) I play too much games ....... just too much.


2) reading other books....


3) not praying well too.




You know in christianity .... all the woo-ahs about God and religion .... can be brought down to such a simple level. Ps CK showed me yesterday. And i have not witnessed the love of God and His presence in such a tangible manner like it was in yesterday's meeting. I mean it is different from our regular service .. where we have the lights and great sound and preacher. Those are good. But the fire among the people isn't there. Yesterday the HS just moved so freely among us. I mean its different from Ps Benny Hinn's meeting where the whole stadium is electrified .... but in another sense ... i get to know how God moves among the hungry .... and the meek. All around me ... people were weeping .... but i didn't. But i feel blankets after blankets .... wave after waves of water pouring on me..... and a message telling me to straighten up.



He told me softly that He has some place prepared for me ... and unless i give up my old man .... every single day ... put that on the cross, and move to put on the new man that Christ so graciously gave to me... i will never be in that place where i can fulfill my role on this earth. It was not a big .... loud ... or what you call the manifestation of HS i had there... rather it was a simple message. A still small voice in my head that assures me that he takes care of me despite my disobedience.



God has done so much. I know. But somewhere in my heart .... i feel dead. I feel that i am overunned by my mistakes or my sins. But then i also know this doesn't matter as much as gaining the actual righteousness of God. Even if it dulls or pains me .... it still has to be done, And I have to do it.



Thank you for taking that cup of suffering for my sake. I want to understand more of it... someday i hope i can really know you as David knows you..

---

Points to rememeber n meditate from yesterday's prayer meeting :


1) Have a daily encounter with God. God is ever closer than i think.

- In the stillness, in the quiet (and secret) place ... he is there. ( Elijah in 1 Kings. )

- The longest distance in our body is from our heart to our head. Take time to settle in. Do not rush.

- A personal encounter with God sometimes requires obedience and sacrifice. With obedience as the priority.

- God speaks to the hungry. He reveals the secret to the thirsty ones.

- Simple old worship songs can be more effective sometimes. Especially in a personal quiet time.

2) Serving God effectively is not just an art. Its also in the heart.

- Do i need to be professional to serve God? No! Professionalism comes naturally when we move with Him in the spirit (revelation)

- The basic requirement ... is simply our heart. Be a Mary who listens and worships. Rather than a Martha who works professionally, but gets lost in the motion.

- Spiritual check (every day) : Do you have the joy / passion to serve God and people ? If no : Renew that fire. Go seek him again. If yes : Praise the Lord.



End.

finally....

my blogger is ok! :D





i wun see silly things when i type my posts :)

For you.

i feel refreshed today after a good prayer wif cell group.



i have been pondering about the sermon of Mounts message and my late readings by John Bevere ... and of course my BS lessons. About my lifestyle .. and attitude.... i just cant develop that happy healthy me again. I know God is working very much on my inside now .. and that's why he brought me to where i was. And even though there are times i neglected him, he still calls out to me in very different ways. Like through books... through the things i do... (they would just suddenly feel meaningless). He wants my attention.... but on my part ... i will sometimes just do the things i want to do.


How do i die to myself everyday? How do i praise God even at my most unconvenient time? This is like Basic Christianity 101. This is what probably what David calls sacrifice of praise. I want to die to my old self ... and develop that hunger again. For that special secret mana he reserve for those who seeks him earnestly...


I realise something on Saturday service on God's part in our relationship. B. Jeremy has said that God has done everything possible for Him to gain us back.. Everything. And what i don't realise till recently is that the power of the cross is still continuously at work ... even up till today. The sanctifying ... the breaking of self ... its not me. I can't do anything about this sin .... but only one ... that is to choose to not sin. And i realise the power of sin weakens when we yield more to God. The bible says we cannot serve two masters ... and it's either Him or the principalities of this world. And yet unknowingly .... Jesus continues to help us fight this fight. And yea the battle is won long ago..... and this struggle i have.... we have.... it is nothing as long as we dun give in.



God, help me oh lord. I have pride in my life. I know it. And together with it comes with these insecurities ... this fear .... this loneliness. I yearn for love. for friendship. For something that can satisfy my soul. But yet i found none. And when all is finally silenced in my life... i found yr voice calling me. I have changed O Lord. I have experienced some of the pleasures of this world. And i give thanks for the legitimate ones you gave. But Lord i know that i truly belong to you ... and i pray that i will be closer to you ... every single day. Help me God..... i know its not by might nor power ... but by your spirit o Lord. I need you....

!@#$

my blog has problems. everything seems to be in haywire... cant post properly. hai.


Anyway praise the lord... i love this week's message. I can see now all that he's doing in my life... up till now.

Age Gap?

I recently told my new cgl that i want to be a helper again.



Lots of conviction burn in my heart... I mean i really do not like to lead. I guess you can call me the "serving" type rather than leading type. But i really feel God calling me to walk out from my comfort zone to do his works again.... To feed his lamb, tend his sheep... and feed his sheeps.



I'm so confused today. On my way back... i was really tired. I can't say that i did alot of work ... but maybe because of the lack of exercise ... i grew easily exhausted after all the chair carrying and shifting in Expo. But yea .. on the way back ... i became quite irritated with the gang i was with. My cg mates. It's like i don't belong there at all... The things they say ... the lame joke they crack ... yea they are ok. But I am not particularly keen to participate and talk. Sure in the past i will just go ahead and chat wif them to my very very best. But now it's different. I do want to fellowship.. but a part of me does not want to be with them. I am not a child a kid anymore. The "woos and ahhs" about teenage life doesn't really impress me anymore. I really don't know but i think after coming out of army ... i feel that i need to be more like a man and less like a kid. I mean i like to party and such ... but together with them .. it's almost like a joke.



God what's happening to me? You called me for your work ... yet to me it all seem so wrong... this environment i'm in. I kept thinking that i might need to change cg. But no lord.. i won't decide this based on my feelings or thoughts. Yet God, please show me how to connect with the young lives again. Please also show me if i should continue together with this cg w143. I am in a mess right now but yet Lord i know your ways are higher than mine... so are your thoughts. Holy spirit guide me. Thank you God. Amen.


A short extract from John 21.

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs." 16 Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?" He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep." 17 The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my sheep. 18 I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." 19 Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God.

PDL 7 - All to You

[ The 7th installment thus far for Purpose Driven Life. ]


Point to ponder: It's all for him

Romans 11:36b (LB) For everything comes from God alone. Everything lives by His power, and everything is for His glory.



It's all for him. Everything around me worships Him.


Have you ever thought what does the birds in the sky, the sand, sea and clouds ... the little ants that crawl towards your food ... the little cute puppy you got as a pet .. what's all this to you? Why are they here on earth ? I mean we know the role they play very well. Birds chirp, fly around and hunt for food. They learn the dangers of their environment and are always alert lest they become a part of someone's food chain. Collectively, it can be said they are all for one purpose. That purpose is the same for all of them. That is to glorify God.


I read a book by Lee Strobel that argues many theories of our time on faith, science and religion. What intrigues me is that the readily build up arguments against God can be so easily torn down by an unbiased thorough research on the subject. I mean it is like Jeremiah 29 :13 come to pass all over again for each field. May it be the argument of Creationism vs Evolution, or the argument about the validity of our precious bible, or even emotional subjects that deals with a Good God that allows sufferings and deaths on this world... It all shows one thing .... that if you want to prove God's reality... you will know it if you seek him with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind.


And everything around us proves that God is the creator of this world. I am still curious about many things of this world ... and if possible i would like to visit Israel one day to know more about the heritage and all that is said in the bible of the ancient times. But i know one thing is that God did not created something by accident. Everything was created for a reason. Sometimes it is really difficult to conceptualize the nature of his work. But sometimes when i look around at the things around me, i am really amazed there are such 'things' around me. ( Things as a general term for everything .. humans, objects, animals ... anything ). So Rick tells me now it is done for his glory. It makes sense.


The bible says, "You are worthy, O Lord our God, to receive glory and honor and power. For you created everything." (Rev 4:11a) It is his nature to be glorious. And when creation fulfills their purpose, they bring glory to God. It goes to the same for us. When we fulfill our purpose in our lifetime, we glorify God and His name. But as humans, we can constantly give him glory in other different ways too. Rick shows this through 5 examples.

1) we give him glory through worship.
Its is more that an act of praising. It is a lifestyle of enjoying, loving and giving yourself to Him.

2) We give him glory by loving other believers.
Its my responsibility to love others as God does.

3) We give him glory by becoming like Christ.
We have to mature to be sons of God that is shown through our Christ-likeness.

4) We give him glory by serving others with our gifts.
We are given gifts for the benefit of others. Just like others for our own.

5) We give him glory by telling others about him.
The Gospel is also called Good news. Any good news is meant to be shared and not kept secret.


Rick finally says living a life for the glory of God would require a shift in my priorities. What is first ? As mentioned in my last PDL reflection, i always put God as my wrong priority. Some days he will be first. Some days, i can't find him anywhere in the list. But it's still a matter of choice of Him or me. I have already made the choice for Him. But then again in different circumstances, my life doesn't reflect so. And it's really time to yield to Him more... The bible says, if we yield to Him, He will yield to us.. and the cares of the world will fade away. ( i forgot what verse...) . Nevertheless... i am happy that God still accepts me and my faults. And one day i will be a great man of God. And people can constantly see Jesus in me...


Dear God, thank you for the word. I have my worries now ... about the right course to choose, about my finances and debts, about my future and destiny. But i know you are my creator. You know me better than i do myself. And your spirit searches all things ... and even the deep things of God. Lord i want to avail myself to you that you may do a work in me ... and change me to a different me. A me that puts away all childishness and foolishness. A me that can stand in the gap and fulfill your calling for my life. Lord let me know my gifts so that i can serve people better ... and let me know my purpose here so that i can have a destination to go to. Thank you God for everything that you've done. Even now it is hard to communicate with people i used to know... i pray that one day i might find my place in my circle of friends. Holy spirit thanks for teaching me the word. All glory and honor to You. Amen.

PDL 6 - A temporary job

Points to ponder : This earth is not my home


"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Cor 4:18 (NIV)


King David once prayed, "Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered, and that my life is fleeing away." (Ps 39:4)


It is quite sad to know that time flies by so fast. I mean i am an adult now. Like it or not i have to accept my new found responsibilities. Work, make a living, and before you know it, i'll have to pass the baton to yet another younger generation. I read alittle of Ecc on how time can past away so quickly. And the wise and the fool all have the ultimate fate of death. But christians know that death is yet but another new beginning. And that's when our everlasting journey starts. Then what shall we make of our time on this earth? Isn't it like what King Solomon likes to describe, " chasing after the wind?


Compared to eternity, our life time here is pretty brief. So Rick advised that we shouldn't get too attached. On this earth, we are described as Christ's ambassador (2 Cor 5:20). For now, it's quite hard for me to digest this temporary assignment. Well one thing bad about me is that on my priority list, God is still not totally 1st. I will put my sleep, fun, pleasure all before God. And this is probably why i think i am more attached to the worldly affairs than to the kingdom of God. I know it will definitely not be easy .... but i do not wish to lose away the holy ghost in my life. Each time i put these things 1st, i feel that i am compromising something. Something else in my life......


After thinking a little through, i think i do not want to end up like a rich young ruler mentioned in Marck 10. He faithfully obey God's commandments ... but he is unwilling to let go of the treasures he stored on earth. Jesus commented that " it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to eanter the kingdom of God". I lernt from Mr Jeremy that the eye of a needle is a special small gate next to the big Jerusalem gate specially catered for visitors at night. It is so small that in order for a rich person's camel to pass through, the camel must be totally unloaded and it has to kneel and be pushed through the tiny door.


To be able to go through this door, i have to learn to humble myself. All good things in the world are given by God. But yet, they are of this world. I cannot bring it to heaven. Rick advises that all the pain that we experience on this world also serves to remind us of one thing... that is we are not home yet. This is an imperfect world that we are walking in. That certain dissatisfaction is to steer our eyes to eternity. That real prize is still ahead.


God, this is an awfully long journey. But i know you can shorten it anytime. But yet Lord i know you have place a purpose for every single one of us. I still do not know mine Lord. And i still struggle with temptations and desires of this world. But God, your grace is always sufficient for my needs. I thank you God that you always have good plans for me. Plans to prosper and not to fail. I want to be able to prosper in life. In health, works and in spirit. Thank you Jesus for all that you've done. Please continue to guide me Holy Spirit...

Peace.

Peace Is Not The Absence Of Turmoil; It Is The Acknowledgement Of God’s Presence.
by Ps Robb Thompson.

These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)



Not only was there a bitter herb set upon the Passover table, but there was also a sweet, delicate herb. Parsley is that customary herb, used to remind Jews of the sweet, peaceful incidents that no doubt occurred during their long journey to the land God prepared for them. But God cares far more about your faith than He does about your comfort. We read in 1 Peter 1:7 that trials are only tests of our faith, to show that it is strong and pure.

In Job 23:8-9, Job records his search for God, “I go east, but He is not there. I go west, but I cannot find Him. I do not see Him in the north, for He is hidden. I turn to the south, but I cannot find Him.” It could have appeared to Job that God had entirely abandoned him. All of his efforts to find God’s presence in his turmoil led to nothing until we come to verse 10, which says, “But He knows…” Job acknowledges that God knows his state, and if God knows, then He must be near!

He contines, “But He knows where I am going, and when He has tested me like gold in a fire, He will pronounce me innocent.” Do those sound like the words of an anxious, fretful man? No! His words come from a heart that is reassured of God’s faithfulness even in his trouble, and because of that, great peace, as celebrated with the sweet herb, guards his heart and fixates his mind.

Let me ask you, has God eveur failed you before? Even once? Then why would He fail you now? Remember His faithfulness in times past, and rest in the peace He so generously provides.

Confession :

Father, I thank You that I walk in Your righteousness, and that You never allow me to be moved, made to fall, slip, or fail.

[ extracted from Daily Success Key from Ps Robb Thompson ]