Exams coming in just a week !!! :O
haven take exams in awhile. im not feeling confident. But Faith is a substance of things hoped for, evidence of things unseen! And i will succeed!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Come on Jason
Faith is a substance of things hoped for
After a talk with Elaine... i feel at peace. i am no superhuman. just alittle thick-skulled at times. i cant get myself to arise. i wont get away from the negative things that spur in my mind. it's horrible.
when many times i ask God, " Why? why this mountain ?" .. a funny feeling hit me and say ... You know it better than i do.
I am sorry God. Now's not the time to say disheartening things like why ?? .. or i cant do it anymore. I pray that i will be much much stronger this time. with a bigger mindset. i am a christian. i am blessed to succeed. i am blessed to bless people around me. amen.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
too big to fill
im filling a big pair of boots.
my feet feels naked at times.
but i'll perservere ...
tired.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Monday, April 06, 2009
Rattlesation
It's time for rattlesation!
I type this while my baby is sleeping.. and because her daddy's laptop is more comfortable and reliable to use than my little grampy com at home! (wols! man)
hmm... have many things to share.. many things i kept in my heart.. sometimes sunshine reprimanded me for not telling her... (ironic for the fact that i kept telling her to share her worries with me..), so i shall share some here. find typing it out is the best way to let out...
i've been quite depress for a while after Elaine left actually. I've felt back the old feelings of incompetency.. of lousiness... of loneliness... of shame... yea.. you know the list.. some of us share bits of pessimism from time to time. but ya i can only let this 'emotions' run for awhile... after that i've got to get my game up and keep running again.
as i slowly take up the responsibility of cell group leading... i began to feel a shift of weights.. leading cell group is really something of a whole new ... different dimension.... it's a whole different ground. Leading in a operational based group (usher) has taught me to react to different situations .. and i have to take ownership, work as a team, and find the best solution to cater to the situation. pretty much like situational awareness in army. im still not really good i that i feel. nevertheless, i find serving under such unforseen circumstances especially exciting and enjoyable in church! :) most importantly i met great frens there...
As i switch to cell group ministry.. i know it's goin to be something really different. the most challenging part would really be being a good minister and a good shephard. to gather and lead sheeps. speaking of which.. everytime i think abt leadership and helpership in church .. i remember the 1st call God gave me: that if you love me. feed my sheeps. if you love me, tend to my sheeps. if you love me.. feed them. After which, i began my exciting ministry in serving God! :)
The fun part of CG ministry to me :) ? it's to see lives grow. i wanna see that their lives changed. and right now i thank God im getting 'adjusted' to taking care of w116.. i still find it hard sometimes to click ... and it gets me down sometimes because im not as effective 'talker' as some people... or i don't have very much of the same 'interest' as some of my friends which i slowly realise.. but i believe passion can be brewed (like a tea). Xiuwen showed me that when she talk to Philips (a very interesting acquintance we always meet in church) in a very patient manner and kind manner. i think it can be slowly acquired.. at least that's how it'll work for me. i dun get very interested in 'new topics' like suddenly. takes time.. takes realisation ... takes erm... omph!
being a people person. a leader. is really a choice. whether ya willing to care for pple. that's leadership 101.
sigh i miss Elaine ... pls faster come back :(
I type this while my baby is sleeping.. and because her daddy's laptop is more comfortable and reliable to use than my little grampy com at home! (wols! man)
hmm... have many things to share.. many things i kept in my heart.. sometimes sunshine reprimanded me for not telling her... (ironic for the fact that i kept telling her to share her worries with me..), so i shall share some here. find typing it out is the best way to let out...
i've been quite depress for a while after Elaine left actually. I've felt back the old feelings of incompetency.. of lousiness... of loneliness... of shame... yea.. you know the list.. some of us share bits of pessimism from time to time. but ya i can only let this 'emotions' run for awhile... after that i've got to get my game up and keep running again.
as i slowly take up the responsibility of cell group leading... i began to feel a shift of weights.. leading cell group is really something of a whole new ... different dimension.... it's a whole different ground. Leading in a operational based group (usher) has taught me to react to different situations .. and i have to take ownership, work as a team, and find the best solution to cater to the situation. pretty much like situational awareness in army. im still not really good i that i feel. nevertheless, i find serving under such unforseen circumstances especially exciting and enjoyable in church! :) most importantly i met great frens there...
As i switch to cell group ministry.. i know it's goin to be something really different. the most challenging part would really be being a good minister and a good shephard. to gather and lead sheeps. speaking of which.. everytime i think abt leadership and helpership in church .. i remember the 1st call God gave me: that if you love me. feed my sheeps. if you love me, tend to my sheeps. if you love me.. feed them. After which, i began my exciting ministry in serving God! :)
The fun part of CG ministry to me :) ? it's to see lives grow. i wanna see that their lives changed. and right now i thank God im getting 'adjusted' to taking care of w116.. i still find it hard sometimes to click ... and it gets me down sometimes because im not as effective 'talker' as some people... or i don't have very much of the same 'interest' as some of my friends which i slowly realise.. but i believe passion can be brewed (like a tea). Xiuwen showed me that when she talk to Philips (a very interesting acquintance we always meet in church) in a very patient manner and kind manner. i think it can be slowly acquired.. at least that's how it'll work for me. i dun get very interested in 'new topics' like suddenly. takes time.. takes realisation ... takes erm... omph!
being a people person. a leader. is really a choice. whether ya willing to care for pple. that's leadership 101.
sigh i miss Elaine ... pls faster come back :(
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