Sunday, May 30, 2004

W143 Pot Luck

Well this pot luck is better than ever. Why leh, because i plan wan mah ? .. lol no la ... not just me .. must remember TURTLE ,,, and ZHIMING . ThX for planning with me as well =). I really had a very very good time today. Though tired at the end of it, cos stuff my self with too much food. It's been a logn time i tasted so many nice nice food le :) Thank You w143. Thank god. Thank me =P

Well, i was late today :P... because i've been doing extra research on the games i've planned. Somehow the game which i plan to have on pot luck din seem too exciting when i play in my cell grp, i dig into the games which i've played previously in Scouts. hehe .. very fun rite :P ?? I brought Fried rice - cooked by me and my nice granny. There are lotsa food as well. Got Curry chicken, Konikawi jelly, Mayo-potato, colesaw, roti prata, sandwhich, fried bee hoon, Fried banana and potato, Yummy steam beancurd, Fried Wun tun, Egg tarts, fishball, nuggets and black soya sauce duck. sEE?? buffet rite ?? hahua i can tell u the foood is mamamia .. deeeeellliicccciooouuuuusssssss. ~ really no kidding. Even now as i am typing .. i can still feel the food churnign in my stomach. I dunno how many gallons of food i've gobbled down my gut.

The 3 powerpuff sisters ini our cell group were really having a great time filming each other and the rest of the cell group. They were holding a video cam ... and goin around the house filming and interview. They are really having a great time .. ermm haha asking silly questions .. and causing embarassment to some of my friends :) .. Most of the questions are like ... "which guy in yr ministry do u like ... izit this ar?? or de other guy tat u were toking wif some time ago" haha .. they even follow the person to de toilet to ask these kidna questions. Well i can say the atmosphere is extemely lively and cool. I was hiding in the room so i was kinda safe from all their questions.

The games ... i would say is cool as well. Why ... because i plan wan mah :P .. hahah. Wun describe much of the games we played ... cos err .. tired of explaing de games le. But it's really nice to play ... cos we used to play alot of these games in Scouts. We had a video filming of the games section as well .. and it's kinda cool too. At the end ,we watch a video presentation of de past interviews we had with every member. The video .. though it hasn;t gone thru much editing ... is quite entertaining. We laugh at certain parts of the video .. which particularly interesting questions and questions dat we've hardly ever ask ourselves when we r together. Questions like .. wad makes up our cell group. Questions like wad happen to the gifts from our past chalets. And we got very interesting answers from our members :).

Well i would really wanna say a big thank u to turtle .. for staying up so late while i Z_Z half way due to exhaustion ... and of coruse zhiming .. for yr food list ... to ensure that the food brought by us do not clash .. and last of all to everyone who came and have fun. Truely, i haven had a good laugh and a good appetite until this very day. =P up and on!! w143

Friday, May 28, 2004

ok .. i've decide to update my blog ... hehe .. so got new blogger's links in my blog le! wad a fellowship men! And thx the marble nad, i found a new webbie for bloggie source code music :) yeaAA

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

A sad rainy day.
We alighted at stop near the tennis association. It is showering outside. We took the overhead bridge and was stuck on the other side of the road, unable to walk any futher. It is rainy pretty heavily. The National Stadium is not too far .. but not too near either. We waited under the shelter of the bus stop till the rain subsided. Splatter splatter.

Soon enuff, the rain subsided. We began trotting towards the national stadium - the girls with the umbrella. Well ironically, the 4 girls with the umbrella got splash by the passing cars .. and the boys .... haha .. lets juz say we r much drier =).
Drizzle Drizzle.

We arrived there, just in time to watch the 2nd half of Sec sch B-Division Finals. Greenville vs. Fuhua Sec. Well the match reminds me of the nike advertisment. My friend, James commented that the players are freely displaying their tricks and skills so actively that u can hear ... " wooo " and "ahhhs" everywhere. They dribbling skills are top-notched. Passes are all with great accuracy. Simply fnatastic. Within the 1st 15mins. 6 goals were scored. 3 on each side. Both teams soon switched to defensive mode. Haiz i shall *fast-forwad*. Fuhua being the better team, won the game. Not by addional normal goals. Not by golden goals. But by penalty =)

Then it comes SA AND VJC. In the 1st half, we were cheering happily. We were like " Saint saint saint saints saints ... " den pop ... 1 ball fly into the SA goal post. Withing the 1st 10mins of de game, VJ scored a goal.Nvm, we continued to cheer hard and cheer strong. Soon, IT is pretty obvious to the crowd that the VJC has the most possession of the ball. But i applaud the saint for fighting hard to score a goal. But the fact is simply that VJC is much faster and have greater endurance than us. The 1st hald ended with 1-0

Well, unsatified with the 1-0 defeat, we began cheering hard and strong for SAJC in the next half. True enuff, withing the 1st few minutes, Sa Equalise the score with a head-in goal. The crowd roared with excitement on our 1st goal. Haha very exciting. Well the next few minutes weren't tat exciting. VJC scored another goal .... and then another goal again which brings the score to 3-1. The utterly disappointed crowd continued to cheer hard and strong. The spotlights are on. There are about 10 minutes left. We are hoping against hope that VJC would tire out and SA will fight back and nail them down with 3 goals. Well guess wat? "floop" .... goalll ... the score is now 4-1. Excellent. personally we never gave up on the SA soccer team. We still cheered, and cheered and cheered and though the match may seems important, the saints spirit is still up and running. Withing a short while, the whistle sounded. The scored ended with VJC-4, and SAJC-1. And ya ... I have this friend from VJC who messaged me and wrote ... "tissuie?" => which also means "do u need tissue to dry your tears." right ENG KIAT ?? well we will trash u in the next game in the cricket Finals. SAJC versus VJC again. I heard from my friends that we were winning. But the game was postponed because of lightning and rain.

Well i took a bus on the way home and it was extremely crowded. I was standing on the step. So when the bus stops, there comes this girl named Crystal who step beside me and wanting to alight. Den, the bus door open and somehow i wanted to make space for her to move. So at that instance, the bus door slam on me and somehow i heard shouts. I've been told later that my bag banged on her ... something like that. I am totally blur at what happened. But i am not happy about the idea .. that this guy from my class keeps telling everyone that i purposely bang into girls. Not funny men. Stop slandering pal. I had enuff of yr slanders. I shall be nice and not mention yr name. Juz releasing my thots here =P .. haha .. u can view this whole paragraph as rubbish. I am juz pretty confused and upset over this thing. very small little issue.

It seems that VJC and SAJC are kinda rivals in every area. while on the bus, i saw on TV-mobile a chinese show which feature JC students competing. think name of show is " Lin2 ji1 yi2 dong4" Again i saw VJC and SAJC students up there battling themselves out, while an NJ student stood there happily watching the fight. Haha... oh man ~~
I got scolded by my granny and lectured by my papa for coming home late. So not really having a good day. Haiz ...... ya think dat's all... PRACTICAL EXAM COMING ... DIE DIE DIE zZ@#@#!!!@!
Today is VJC versus SAJC Football finals.
Who will be the soccer champs tis year =P. Time will tell. In another 3 hours .. the match shall commence and the ultimate showdown will be unevitable. Until then,i am bored and kinda hungry and felt like crapping infronta a com =P. Haiz very tired now. I neeeeddd strengthhhhhhhh.... And ya .. noe its quite uesless to type out now but .. the match will be at National Stadium. Time 4.45. I dunno how we r gonna cheer in such a big place. SAJC gonnna winn this game!!!!!

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Juz learnt how to cook fried rice from my grandma. Well she prepared all the ingredients already. I.e. the clising of onions, and other herbs. The frying process ia bt 1/2 hour. And men the food was a yum yum. Gonna cook fried rice this sunday morning 4 my dear w143. hahhaa. i am tempted to add extra spices

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Basketball Finals .. dum dum dum dum ..

As i entered Toa payoh sports stadium, i was greeted by a large crowd ... Hwa Chong Junior College [HCJC aka out enemy] to me left and St Andrews Junior College [ SAJC aka the powerhouse supporter of the Saints basketball team]. Our class rush to the stand and settle ourselves in the middle .. kinda high up. Well the game starts just as soon as we put down our bags and started cheering " S. A. J. C. *clap* *clap* .. "

Short update of match : today is basketball finals for the boys and girls basketball team. Both against Hwa Chong.

*interesting fact1 : We got more banners than Hwa chong ;)

HA ... It is the clashes against the ermmm .... cats ?? haha ... The games seems to be a very violent one for the basketball girls below. Both teams are practically bumping, shoving, and kinda like very aggressive against each other [ more aggressive than the boys] Well Our girls are playing against the defending champ of basketball. It's gonna be real tough. By 1st quarter, we were losing by 7 - 14 score. As the game proceeds, we aint getting any better. We cheered but each time a goal is scored against us, it's kinda demolarising for the crowd; our cheering abruptly stop. ANd again " go saints ... go saints " and [@_@] *men another goal against us*. Soon we lack by a big margin. The hwa chong crowd is really taking advantage of the situation. They began cheering vibrantly and keep telling the girls team to " Xa xa Xa - or kill kill kill ". I would say our girls lack their speed ... and their skill. Not only that, their team is more united ... communication can be seen ... and their passes are much accurate than us.

well , we lost.The girls team fought hard ... but the score was kinda like a trashing. Their score is about 40 ++ and ours is 20++ .


*interesting fact2 : We got more Flags than Hwa Chong

And then ... the boys ... This time the clashes of the titans.

Interesting fact3 : We have 98% of ball possession during when the refree "throws up" the ball for players to snatch

We start the game with a 2-0. In the next minute, the score was 2-2. At the End of the 1st quarter, we lead them by 14 - 7. You should have seen our boys played. Long range pass from one court to another and .. a beautiful layout finish. 2 3-points chop *sweeet* =)

Anyway due to lack of time ..i shall fast forward : We won haha .. i very anticlimax but i dun care ... WE WON WAHAHAHHAHA CHAMPION .. WE R THE CHAMPIONS .. at least not me la ... the basketball team :) BUT WE R THE CHAMPIONS HAHAAHA ... [--]' we won 74 to 58 if i am not wrong. WEE WON .... hahhaha against the defending champion. Well at least this time HCJC cant jeer at us. :) we "XA- killed" them :) hahahah Glory and praise to god :P

The exciting match ended. I met yiteng aka wormzzz and she got ponytail look ... haha Then i met another friend -- Eng kiat from VJC. He came to watch our finals :) ANd he keep saying that he will give us tissue paper to cry when we lose to the uupcoming SA and VJ soccer finals. haha ... we went to the nearby macdonald later at HDB hub to crap and crap more. After an exciting crapping conversation .. i rush home to buy food for grandma ..

*interesting fact3 : Player number 15 Kenji [SAJC boys team] - won the nike Freestyle competition and was selected for some NBA training overseas

*interesting fact4 : MVP [most valuable player] award was awarded to player number 5 [Sajc boys team] ... whom the name i forgot :P haha

The end for today :) We WON ... hahahha [--]'
*chanting:half day !! half day !! =D

Friday, May 14, 2004

Just another day in SAJC

Yea.... i am bloggin live at SAJC .. wahhahaha. [--]'. Today is a pretty cool day for me. Considering that i slept at 3.30 am last nite, i am amazed at my enormous store of eneryg that i've been tapping thru-out the day. I just had a lecture test which totally blew my head off. Well since i had alittle abit of time, i shall ramble abit about what really touched my soul yesterday.

* warpz to a day earlier *
The day began we chapelin ... and yes the saints began to sing the usual hymn. Well shortly after that, the pastor began to preach and said a prayer for the late principle of St MArgret's whom died earlier last week. He began to preach about life's journey and the choices we have come to make. He began to said something about a T-shirt which has a phrase [which i sorta forgot ironically :P]. Well wat really impacted me is not about what he preach. It's about the questions he posed at the end of his preaching. He asked the non-christians in the college to try to question or ask their christian friends .. wad's the one thing that god has did for my life that has change us ... Well my friends wasted no time. they began questioning about the beliefs i held ... the embezzlement of the funds ... and most importantly, what god has change in my life that has led me to accept christ.

Well, it's kinda powerful men. All of friends start targetting me .. and really "persecute" me thru-out the day. Well it's like when u haven finish answering one question, they start coming up with more. They get so hyped-up when it comes to questioning the beliefs of christianity. I've been like their sole dart-board that their intensely firing at. That's actually the least of my concern. my main concern is the one question which has really struck me and all my bliefs that lil' morning => what has god done in my life that really change me. To many christian friends, many could say .. u noe attitude , character, or the pulling-thru of a crisis. I search my whole heart yesterday morning. I've tried to remember all wad Children church has taught me. Since young. i've been going to church as a regular seeker of christ. Actually, iin my childhood days, christianity is nothing more to me but spending time with my friends and listening to stories. Serious ... that's all i thot abt christianity. As i approach more and more to teen-hood, i've backslided. Totally lost track with god. No cell-group. No sunday church service. Tat's me

As i draw away from the lord, i felt this sudden emptiness. This is something which brings doubts and many question to my life. Questinos like is that really such a god? Why am i just hearing things ... seeing things .. but not really feelin them happen in my life? Yea i noe the answer to all these questions. But the point is i've been so doubt-filled. It's like there is a inner-demmon in me, my presumption ... totally not cool. It's veen really a tormenting experience to me constantly feeling one way and another. When i have a heart that believes and a heart that doubts. That sometimes, i cant even ans questions liek wat significant change that christ has done in my life which my non-christian friends ain't experiencing. Living my faith is the currecny in the spiritual world. Somehow, my heart begans wo wonder what if everything is just a fraud. There are times which i just feel so different from others. There are times which i filled burden for my friends. There are times which the feelin of incompetency is just too overwhelming.

I am still searching deep in my heart for this answers. Now what is the stupid thing about me ? I cant say that i will be able to ans all my questions be'cause i may feel this way for a day ... and the next day i will just forget what has happened. Funny me. Somehwo i feel that someone is playing with my feelings. But dun worry guys, i will not allow myself to backslide because of just this doubts. The pastor has said that even one of the disciple was doubt-filled when he walk on water towards jesus ... he eventuallly become a mighty world-shaker and history-maker went he wsa mention in the bible about his evangelistic work. I truelly feel the warmth of god at times ... but somehow ... something is holding me back ...

*warps back to reality*

Gonna go to cell-group soon. :)

Sunday, May 09, 2004

Mother's Day
A Special Day dedicated to all Mothers

Mother's Day began with Service. Men i forgot to invite my parents to come. Damn. Today's service is pretty cool. There is a short segment performed by the CHC drama team and a very nice touching videos of Extra-Ordinary or Extraordinary Moms. We had a great sermon about Our mummies and on how important their words are to us and ways where we can glorify her. Basically it is really nice. To pitu in short the 5 ways of how we should love our moms are :
1) Learn to be understanding/thoughtful
2) Learn to spend Quality time with her
3) Show her respect and appreciation
4) Show love and affection
- thru words
- thru actions
- thru physcial touch
5) provide financial security [ for students .. in the future lah ]

Ex 20:12 " Honour your father and mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your god is giving you."

Nice words of wisdom huh ? =P

Later marc, shuting, me, dawn , joel and terrence's cell went to makan. It's kidna hot day .. ya and therefore we perspired alot [duh :P]. After the makan, i went with Eugene and his fren to JP. I went to a gift shop to do some last minute shopping =P. I found alot of nice gifts ... and in de end i bought a cup for my Grandma and a scented candle for my mom. I also came across this nice phrase dat says : love doesn't just make the world go round. It makes the ride worthwhile. And ya so dat's all for the shooping adventure. hehe ....

Last but not least ... Happy Mommy's day for all mothers .. mom mom hooray .. =P
College Play - R.U.R

R.U.R. - stand sfor Rossum Universal Robots which is the title of this year's college play. We went to N ational University Cultural Centre to watch the performance. It was a very simple ... yet very complex play. Haha .. y??? It all depends on how u see this play. For short, it can be just a simple story of how creators of robots suffer a backlash by the robots when the robots revolt. But all the deeper point of view ... u can see alot of scenarios about pros and cons of technology .. and whether robots have souls ... whether robots should be given feelings.. emotions ... especially when men have the power to do so. And whether the theory of dominion over all nature, even machines to have an ultimate sactisfactory life [with machines as slaves] ? alot alot of GP questions can come out of this play :). And guess what ... one of my classmate is performing in the drama. She really did a very good job in her roel as a maid. Her trademark finger-pointing and whinning certainly win the audience over. Her old - fashion kinda outlook and her dramatic actions really send us roflol . =D. Great Job Sameema !! After the performance, we went for class photo taking. It was then i realise that this is one of the biggest class outing we ever had. Close to 20 of us turn up for the performance :), hha u might tink we r very united. Actually we had a neotiation with the teacher ... that is if we watch this play ... 2 periods of Gp lesson would be freed off as breaks. Ha .. cool huh ? so we'll miss 2 GP lessons the next week because we watch the play today :) but of couse .. she said whe'll be giving us a worksheet on this play dat we must do :P.

We had a great time after the play. We went to eat roti prata at a prata shop .. quite a long walking distance away. Nevertheless i enjoyed walking and chating with my frens along de way. The whole place is very quiet, Ha very nice to walk. [ i like quiet .. starry places ] When we went that we ordered out pratas and drinks and we went along buzzling about the show .. about soccer and haha what bus to take home later. I ordered Tomato chees prata, egg prata .. and 1 gosong or plain prata. I had a wonderful time there eating prata... The prata cost me 6 bucks. I would still say their plain prata needs improving. a Good prata would be crispy :) A cool thing is they sold a drink call dinosaur .. haha cute .. which is more or less like a cup of milo with extra milo poweder on top of the drink. [ maybe the drink have some more extra ingredients] My friends said it is nice :) After that we all took a bus home andi had a match with my friends at Gunbound. Great .. i lost alll the games. Dat means i am a real "great" player. haha. Haiz i am so sian after the game. So turtle message me after the game. Well at first we argued abit over responsibility .. which i was not really in a good mood to talk to her about. But god really quieten my heart and eventually i admit over some issues of responsibility tat i failed to undertake. Haiz so much so for a day. I enjoyed myself overall and learnt a few lessons. Sajc College play RoX~~ <("<) !!

Saturday, May 08, 2004

A fine and sunny day ... haha no school for me again .... 'cos of medical checkuo >< .... endless check up men ... This time i went Tan Tock Seng Hospital for thje checup. Pretty well furnished place. The doctor .. hmm Mr Koh Kok Hoi .. haha a handsome man did the checkup for me. He used a very sophisticated machine to examine me. Very cool !! He applied some gel on a reading bar and began to examine my wrist. After about 1/2 hr of examination, he told be that there is some inflammatory problems on my hands. Haiz .. den after that, i went for blood test ... tink i got 150 ml of blood drained from my body. Cool. After all the test, i went to collect my medicine [which is not covered by CMPB - have to pay myself] i went novena square for a walk. My 1st time there .. =D. Very nice .. i saw another Fish&Co. Restaurant which our vice principal said she is very proud of this restaurant [b'cos of their franchise overseas] and ya ... i visited quite alot of shops ... including one pet shop with alot of very cute baby hamsters. =D

After that, i went to Kinochowa bookstore at Taka .. haha correct spellin ? ya and i look at 2 celestial book comics b4 i went off to do my homework. On the way .. i spotted a art gallery shop callled Opera Gallery -Paris. I suppsoed all the paintings are paris-based artwork. Its on the 3rd floor of Taka .. so go check it out =P. There is one remarkably nice table there ... the table has a ripple effect look on the flat surface.

Cell group was great. Thoguh we are small in numbers today, the atmosphere is still awesome :) WE had qutie alot of chit chat after the meeting. And ya one of our make-up cell friend is gonna participate in a mother-son lookalike contest. Her son brought Inspiration - William hung cd and i learnt that they are gonna perform the song and maybe dance tml >< haha. Interesting. i got to borrow "The Twins Effect Vcd" from peifen. Men This Show rox .... very funny ... cool and quite touching at some parts :)
ya tat's all ... adeuis

Friday, May 07, 2004

A fine and sunny day ... haha no school for me again .... 'cos of medical checkuo >< .... endless check up men ... This time i went Tan Tock Seng Hospital for thje checup. Pretty well furnished place. The doctor .. hmm Mr Koh Kok Hoi .. haha a handsome man did the checkup for me. He used a very sophisticated machine to examine me. Very cool !! He applied some gel on a reading bar and began to examine my wrist. After about 1/2 hr of examination, he told be that there is some inflammatory problems on my hands. Haiz .. den after that, i went for blood test ... tink i got 150 ml of blood drained from my body. Cool. After all the test, i went to collect my medicine [which is not covered by CMPB - have to pay myself] i went novena square for a walk. My 1st time there .. =D. Very nice .. i saw another Fish&Co. Restaurant which our vice principal said she is very proud of this restaurant [b'cos of their franchise overseas] and ya ... i visited quite alot of shops ... including one pet shop with alot of very cute baby hamsters. =D

After that, i went to Kinochowa bookstore at Taka .. haha correct spellin ? ya and i look at 2 celestial book comics b4 i went off to do my homework. On the way .. i spotted a art gallery shop callled Opera Gallery -Paris. I suppsoed all the paintings are paris-based artwork. Its on the 3rd floor of Taka .. so go check it out =P. There is one remarkably nice table there ... the table has a ripple effect look on the flat surface.

Cell group was great. Thoguh we are small in numbers today, the atmosphere is still awesome :) WE had qutie alot of chit chat after the meeting. And ya one of our make-up cell friend is gonna participate in a mother-son lookalike contest. Her son brought Inspiration - William hung cd and i learnt that they are gonna perform the song and maybe dance tml >< haha. Interesting. i got to borrow "The Twins Effect Vcd" from peifen. Men This Show rox .... very funny ... cool and quite touching at some parts :)
ya tat's all ... adeuis

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

* Up-coming update of the Age of Renaissance!

Priston Tale is planning to patch the Age of Renaissance(AOR) to the English server on May 7th. Let's take a plunge and enjoy youself with AOR.
We also opened brand new official website to keep it up with AOR. You can drop by our homepage anytime to look for information regarding AOR.

1) How to download AOR client. (2.8.5 version)

We asked your opinion on the matter of client download service on April 20th through Priston Tale free board. Many of you replied to us mentioning peer to peer method, which we applied to the AOR download service this time.
Please visit the download page in out new official website on May 7th for more information.

2) Server extention

We're planning to extend sub-servers under Midranda(3 group) and Galantia(4 group). Server extention will take place on May 7th with the AOR patch for more pleasurable playing environment.

Extended server is as follows.

a. Midranda - Beta server
b. Galantia - Beta server

3) Special Event

Special event is coming up regarding AOR update.
Monsters will drop 1 to 3 potions when you hunt the monsters in the entire map.
Save the expense on potion and go and hunt the more monsters for more fun!

Cool ..... but will i have time to play it ?? *ponderz* *ponderz* ...

Saturday, May 01, 2004

A burdened heart ..

Labour day ... May day ... Well itz quite a day .... i've been thinking about wad happen .. and what my fren has said to me. Basically, i've brought a friend to my church - City Harvest. It's a real nice and cool place to be and i hope that it'll help him destress. Apparently after the service, i've learnt some distressing thing from him. I respect his privacy ... so i'll not mention anything here. But it really shock me. And he told me that it was juz a twinney little part of all of his problems. WEll his problems are not u noe those regular kinda problems. And i really thinks he need help. Honestly i am pretty shock to hear from him all these things. It's not about the number things that he say that shock me. It's just that, he's been sharing so little about him. And juz now he's poured put so much [ which according to him - he emphaised that it's juz a little part of his probs ].

I tried to talk to him. He seems very agitated. I let him let off his steam. He said abit of his past experience. I told him i am real glad that he shared it with me. It shows that he is willing to open up, and most of all it shows that he regard me as his close friend. The bad thing is, he constantly thinks i am sympathising him. I tried to told him [ after many attempts ] that i am not sympathising him and he doesn't need any sympathy. And that the difference between sympathy and concern - that is sympathy is onlu given to strangers .. in people we do not know or have no direct relations to. Concern is what we show towards our loved ones, our buddies or even just a simple friend. Whether he realise it or not i am not sure. I can see that he has lost faith in his friends .. and the people around him. And that he's been constantly hurt by people around him and his loved ones. And he's been living a life full of regrets.

I dunno if he really understands wad i am trying to say. That the more things he tries to hide from his loves ones ... his close friends ... the more he makes people worried ... anxious about him. He thinks he can carry all his burden by himself. He wished to end his life. WEll tell me guys ... if you have a friend that always hover at this thoughts, don't you feel really burdened for him ? Don't you feel that worried for him? I really dunno if he understand how i feel. Well he irritates me abit when he said that i will never understand how he feels. He said i can only imagine or put myself in his shoe but not able to really wear his shoe and understand his situation. I don't realise the full impact he is facing. Well that really caught me off-guard. I definitely din consider that. However, i believe that even though i couldn't be in his shoes .. as long as i can stand by him... to face his problems .. i'll be able help him get by his problems. I am sure no great figure. My words or thoughts or beliefs are not strong enought to change a person. But i sure hope that i will bring about the change by my determination. And that not just by my pure human strength, by the grace of god - he'll pull thru. I've never met someone with so much fustration and burdens in my life. It kinda like remind me of my past. Well i learn to live that i should not let experience determine destiny but rather let it excel me further into a greater purpose. My pastor once said " experience does not cancel your capacity. It should enhance your life and not inhibit your life." I've been trying bery hard to live by and away from my past. It juz stun me once more ... again when my fren shared his problems with me. He thinks that i am counselling him. But in actual fact, am i ever fit to counsel? ALl my life i've been trying to put my past aside. My feeling of incompetency is really overwheming at that point. Wadeva's the case i've prayed about it and i feel much better now. I've officially lifted perhaps some of my past to the lord. Sort of shift it from my heart ... to a cupboard made for me in heaven =). haha abit mushy ar? i feel a blast of cold wind from my window [--]'

To my little friend [if u r viewing this] : I am not trying to compare my situation with you. please understand that wadeva i've said to you .. i meant it from my heart. I am not showing any sympathy ... juz concern. and it'll be good if u be more +ve dun regard people's words as something -ve. Cos more often that not .. u'll miss the great message bhind their words ... and it can reallly mean alot to u than u can ever imagine. And remember 1 thing .. that is wadeva yr true friends do for u ... even though they might defy yr principles and beliefs .. their sole purpose is to see some good come out of u. You have to look beyond your experiences to see that. It's not something that i can tell u and u'll understand. I've no other things else to say. Please treasure yr life and i am sure god has a great purpose in your life. Take care ...